23 Years... Young?

When did the day arrive when I was actually able to say, "Wow! Look how YOUNG I was!" and actually feel it? 

The answer is today. Today I felt that.... I think for the first time. 

I've always said, "OMG I was so little!" But come on, I didn't really FEEL it. I just knew in my mind that I was younger, so I commented on it. 

Today is different. 

Today I feel this plethora of questions rising in me! What have I accomplished? Where have I been? Am I doing this right? What if I never get married? Am I ever going to have babies?! OMG! What if I get too old to have babies?! OMG the biological clock is a REAL thing! I need to start traveling, like, yesterday! Why are there bags under my eyes!? Why have I not exercised and eaten healthy and slept right all these years?! WHYYY?!?!!! ((Haha--You've been there, don't lie!)) 

I looked at my eyes and for the first time I'm starting to see them grow older. My appetite is changing, or my metabolism is slowing.

And no, this isn't happening rapidly, and I'm still 23 years young. But today, maybe for the first time, I felt like time was not on my side. 

And I am sure there are many more people out there like me. (I mean it's not an innate human trait to feel older, right? Haha) 

Maybe you're 16. Maybe you're 49. Maybe you're 94. It hits us all at different ages, and I'm sure now it will hit me again and again and again. 

I will wake up and realize, wow, I'm really NOT getting any younger, and this is what that feels like. 

This is what it feels like to not be promised time. 

To know that my mind, my body, my being is not forever. 

I am not forever. I am not promised tomorrow, or even this next breath. 

And I realized that I should make THESE moments count, because I might not make it to 92. I might not make it to tomorrow. And no, I'm not being suicidal or depressed, I'm being honest. We don't KNOW how much time we have, so why am I living like I have all the time in the world? 

I hope when this day comes for you (whether you've already had it twenty years ago, or you're only 14 and you feel like this) that you will make the decision to truly live. To not be bound by time, but to make sure that every breath matters because we don't always know when our last will be. 

Now excuse me while I go research Mary Kay anti-aging products to get ahead of this whole thing ;) Suggestions, anyone?! 

Warning Signs You May Be a Real Life Adult

1. You have an unhealthy amount of excitement when your health, dental and vision insurance kicks in at work... Like, scheduling five appointments the next day excited. ((When did having routine check-ups at the dentist become so invigorating?!)) 

2. You hit snooze five times on your alarm, and each time you say to yourself, "I can't wait until I can be in bed again!" ((OMG, I'm thinking this AS I am in bed; what's wrong with me?!)) 

3. If you actually get groceries before making 'Kitchen Surprise'.... You reward yourself with a large pizza and Sriracha, because, well, you deserve those 8K calories, you got kale and spinach at the grocery store! 

4. You say, "Adult," instead of "Grown up." ('Nuff said) 

5. You celebrate silently when you wash AND fold AND put away the laundry. ((You deserve a PRIZE here people!!))

6. You actually can't eat fast food five times a day. ((Food babies are real here people, I am here to tell you)) 

7. You feel proud that you got through day 18 of the 30 day Ab Challenge.  ((And you reward yourself with wine, red wine of course, good for the heart!)) 

8. You would rather buy a dresser for your bedroom than spend money on going out. 

9. You value the relationships in your life and realize the effort it takes to upkeep them. ((Most of all, you are WILLING to put that effort in)) 

10. You still don't like to do the dishes, but you do them regularly now. ((You actually want the Amazon in existence so you stop using paper plates every day))

11. A blog post titled, "Warning Signs You May Be a Real Life Adult," caught your attention and you thought, "I wonder how many signs I have!" 

12. **Gasp!** You actually do, like, more than five of these!!