New Year, New Me

For everyone saying "New Year, New Me," here are some beneficial lyrics from Stacie Orrico's song Strong Enough 😘

"He took my life into his hands and it turned it all around

In my most desperate circumstance

It's there I've finally found

That You are strong enough

That You are pure enough

To break me, pour me out and start again

That You are brave enough

To take one chance on me

Oh Thank You for my chance to start again!" 

He is brave enough.

He is pure enough. 

He is strong enough to break you, pour you out, and START AGAIN. Trust in The Lord; not empty New Year's resolutions. 🎉

Things I Want My StepDaughter To Know

Okay, so I'm not married, so she's not "officially" my stepdaughter, but in my heart she absolutely is, no matter what. I've compiled a list of things I want her to know; and this is only the beginning...

1. I love you.

2. I will never replace your mother or try to be your mother. You two have always and will always share a special and unique bond, just as all lucky girls get to have with their moms! You and I will have our own relationship that does not compete with your Mom, just like how you can have a relationship with your Aunt or your Gigi... I'm another person to love you and be there for you in every step along your life journey! I play a different role in your life than your Mom, and that's okay! :)

3. I used to despise the word "stepmother," because there are so many evil portrayals of it. I never want to be the "EVIL stepmom!" But in building a relationship with you over these past four years, I've come to know that it doesn't matter what you call me, or what anyone else calls me. What matters is our relationship; not the title. And actually, when you call me your stepmom, my heart actually plops out on the floor into a giant puddle of  happiness. You're my family, too.

4. I love your Dad. I love him so incredibly much; just like you! You never have to compete for his attention, affection, or time. You two will always share a Dada-Daughter bond that is irreplaceable! Nothing and nobody will ever compare to your relationship; we can both love him in different ways. (He needs lots of love... From us both!)

5. I would do anything for you. (Okay, I lied. I won't give you my beans. Bwahaha) Almost anything though. I am here for happy and sad and mad and glad and terrible horrible no good very bad days.

6. You teach me more than you could ever imagine. Not just the fun trivia, new hit lyrics, poems, new jokes, how to draw, etc. I mean you REALLY teach me about life and love and all the inbetweens.

7. I am so thankful to be a part of your life. And I could only hope you are thankful I am in yours as well. Even when I'm hangry.

8. I hope you will continue to discover and learn everything you possibly can in your lifetime. Never lose that curiosity for life that you have.

9. Boys are stupid. Okay.... Sorry. They're not all bad. But when you do get your heart broken one day by some idiot, I hope you will find it in your heart to let love in again. Find someone who truly cherishes everything about you; you are an absolute gem! "Find someone worth melting for" -Olaf.

10.  I hope you take opportunities to step outside your comfort zone. It will feel uneasy at first, but it will be worth it.

11. The power of giving is magical; never stop thinking of the people who need your help. But never stray from thinking of yourself as well.

12. You can always, always fall back on family. You have been blessed with so many people surrounding you that love and care about you deeply; never hesitate to ask for help. With anything!

13. I'm always dreaming for you and the beautiful life you deserve. Make a life you're proud of, and make it your own!

To all the evil stepmothers out there, here's to our beautiful, rambunctious, intelligent, spunky, and gorgeous stepchildren... Cheers to being a "step" above the rest!

Inside-Out

I wish I could tell every human just how absolutely beautiful and strong they are. I wish I could imprint young, impressionable minds to know this, too.

But I can't. 

I need your help. 

I need you to realize just how powerful the mind is. It's amazing, really. The power of positive thinking? It can create a whole new world. 

People grow up feeling horrible. They grow up feeling ugly, inadequate, fearful, insecure ... They grow up never knowing how powerful their mind is. How powerful they are. 

They think, "I won't go anywhere in life, why try?" They think, "Nobody will ever truly love me, I'm ugly." They think, "I'm failing. I can't turn this around." 

These are all lies. 

Lies that they (maybe you, too) have been conditioned to believe. 

The truth is, you're beautiful. You're worth the effort. You can make a difference in the world. Somebody already does love you. Failure is the first step to success. And finally, you CAN turn this mindset around. 

You are in control of your behavior and your actions. The first step is positive thinking. ((Yeah, yeah.. You've heard it before. This time, actually TRY it))

It's time to start repairing our bodies from the inside-out. To transition our minds from negative thinking, to uplifting, encouraging thoughts. From feeling miserable and horrible, to doing one thing a day to make you happy. Happiness does not just ARRIVE; you create your own happiness. 

When was the last time you ate cake and realized you just got a six pack afterwards? 

...never.

Me too. (I was disappointed too, don't worry.)

We can't expect to make bad decisions in life, and be happy. We have to WORK for happiness.... For our relationships, for our figures, for our talents, for our careers, for our money, for our faith. Our minds do not automatically default to hope and happiness, but we can change that. 

Today is the day to start. Don't wait for the new year for happiness to arrive. 

You're beautiful, and you're worth it. 

Time to start believing it. Time to put to rest all the excuses, all the doubts, all the procrastination. No more. Go out and be happy, know your value in life. 

Please share this with someone you know suffering with negative self-image. If that's you, I hope you begin to see your true worth and value in life. You're a miracle; time to start believing it! 

I'm still learning this. It's one of the reasons I can write about it. I'm still learning how to be confident and secure and happy. I'm still working on myself from the inside-out, and I hope you'll join me in this never-ending venture!

Things I forget WAY too often..

HASHTAGFORGETFUL

1. That I have just as many hours in my day as Taylor Swift. (No excuses anymore!) 

2. I am the Daughter of a King. (And how very often I forget that! I was beautifully and wonderfully made through Him, and I am loved unconditionally. Why is that not enough sometimes?) 

3. To turn off my straightener.

4. That I am valuable. 

5. The difference between a nickel and a dime. I'm sorry, they just look SO similar..... I don't know what it is. I'll stick to plastic, please. 

6. That I can actually function without my phone. I think I've had minor heart attacks over seeing my battery at 1% when I won't be around my charger for another few hours. #thestruggleisreal

7. Laughter is the best medicine. 

8. Where I'm going. No, literally. I don't think I possess a mental compass in my brain. (Dear kidnappers, please don't ever steal me- I will NEVER find my way home!) 

9. To close my mouth when I'm putting on mascara.

10. That I can't eat an entire pizza with Sriracha and expect to wear anything else but a giant poncho and leggings the next day. (Talk about food babies...)

11. That I will eventually pass away. Sometimes I feel as if this life is permanent, but I don't want to just start living only when I'm told I'm going to die. 

12. I get what I allow. (Meaning if a relationship or otherwise is not going right, it's because I'm allowing those actions and feelings to continue. Only person in charge of my life is and should be me. Oh yes, and of course the big man upstairs!) 

13. To not mention Facebook in real life. It always makes for a real stalker moment when you know something about someone that they have never told you, but you've seen online. (Psssst. I'm watching you) .....agh. That was so creepy. Please forget you just read that! 

14. That people have better things to do than read really long blog lists..... But thanks for reading! 

What kind of things do you forget all the time? #forgetful

MUST LOVE DOGS

I was sitting in my car today eating a bag of dry Cheerios in a parking lot (glamorous life, I know) I saw this old man pull up in front of me with his dog sitting right there in the passenger seat, or rather, his butt was in the passenger seat and everything else had managed to get as close to his owner as possible. Okay, he was practically hugging him, let's be serious. The old man was clearly talking to him because there was no one else in the car, and when he got out, the dog bowed his head and continued to look out the window the entire time the owner was gone. He literally did not move; he looked out the window and patiently awaited his owner's arrival. 

I thought that the dog would eventually get antsy and lay down or move around the car, or look out a different window. He never did. He stayed in one spot consistently until he got back. 

When he finally came back, the dog could not contain his excitement. Neither could the old man. He was petting him and talking to him and the dog was wagging his tail as if it was the last time he would ever wag his tail! 

The whole encounter just made me smile. The loyalty the dog had to his owner, the happiness the two of them clearly shared, and the excitement of the meeting after only a couple moments was all so endearing. 

It reminded me of my relationship with God. Not only that I talk to him out loud when nobody's around, and wag my tail like nobody's business when I listen to a good worship song, but that sometimes I leave Him. 

Sometimes I stray from Him in life, but he is always right there looking out the window with steadfast patience waiting for me to come back. He is loyal. 

When I get too consumed with my friends or family, with work, with material possessions... When I get consumed by feelings of anxiety and emotion. I forget the loyalty He has to me. I forget where I come from. 

I wander from Him. Sometimes for a long time, and other times for only a moment, but my God is always right there beside me during every step of the way, and patiently waiting for me to come back. 

And one day, I know the excitement we will both share when I finally go home and we meet again. It will be as if I had never left. 

So despite the fact that if I ever had to get a dating profile it really would say, "MUST LOVE DOGS," I think this can teach us all a lesson, even if you're more of a cat person.

Our God is loyal and steadfast. When we stray from Him he is always patiently waiting our arrival. He is always excited when we pray and is the best listener. He doesn't seek out other interests or forget about you because you left, or because you sinned. He is forever loyal.

So the next time you feel insecure, the next time you feel depressed, and the next time you feel like it's too late to go back.. Remember that your God is patiently and loyally awaiting your arrival. Just come as you are back to Him, the excitement you will share will be unsurpassable. 

••Time Will Pass Anyway••

"Never give up on a dream because of the time it takes to achieve it. The time will pass anyway." 

I can't express enough how true this is; and how I wish I could engrave this on people's hearts. 

If you're over 40 and you want to go to college- Go. If you are 22 and want to start college but all your friends already have their degrees- Go. Start now. In twenty years, I promise you will wish you did. It's not too late. What is 'too late' anyways? Standards set for us by how society should function? Well, we don't all have the luxury to spend the next four years out of High School just learning. Maybe you had kids of your own who you dedicated all your time to. Maybe you had to work two jobs to make it on your own. Maybe you got married and followed him to a different state. Maybe you just didn't want to at that time. 

But now you do. And NOW is never too late. Think of your life after you graduate, the time will pass anyways. 

Is a big event coming up and you need to get in shape? Start now. The time will pass anyways. You're either going to feel confident and healthy and alive, or you're going to be crawling out of your skin uncomfortably the whole time. 

NOW is never too late. 

Did you stay with someone too long when it was time to walk away? Now you're thinking it's too late to dream of becoming a wife, a husband, a mom or dad. It's not too late. Time will pass anyway. Dream now. 

Whatever it is that time is holding you back from, start now. 

If it takes ten years, two months, fifty years..... Start NOW; because now is never too late. 

I don't care how gray you are. I don't care how inexperienced you are. I don't care what kind of looks other people are going to give you. I don't care if you never have enough time to finish. Start now.

It's not too late; time will pass anyways. 

Adding Up to Beautiful

I remember this one particular time getting made fun of in High School; it's a memory that I replay in my mind when my mind wanders and thinks about all my imperfections. Why it stuck out among all the others is beyond me. The sad thing is, I really don't remember what was even said exactly. (But I do remember how it made me feel.) It was something to the extent of, "You should really get braces!" Or something of the sort, I don't know. I remember just looking at him, pausing in silence trying to find the right words to say, and just saying, "I know." 

But I remember laying in bed and crying and just thinking, "I should have said something clever back!" I turned it over in my head for weeks. Wishing I could go back to that exact moment and have some witty insult to say back. Wishing I could say, "Yeah, well you can fix teeth! You can't fix being mean!" And I had decided that this would have been the best comment. My mantra in my own mind became, "You can't fix mean but you can get braces." 

I let him make me feel insecure about my appearance. I let him get inside my head. 

Hearing someone comment on something I criticize myself for had made me bitter. It made me want to throw insults back. It made me want to make HIM feel what I had felt. It made me want to cry and remind myself of the laundry-list of flaws I have. 

But then he approached me at school one day and took back his comment. Actually... he WROTE me an apology letter on his own accord. (And you say humanity doesn't exist?!) It really helped me see that sometimes we get picked on not to put our own insecurities in the spotlight, but because people don't think before they speak and we're all just a bunch of walking, talking, insecure people. (To one extent or another) Maybe someone was picking on him that day. Maybe he had a bad home life. Maybe he felt insecure about his own teeth. Who will ever know?! (I don't think there's ever a justification for bullying, but I do think there are REASONS behind those type of comments) 

I learned that it's not about some witty insult. It's not about making someone else feel what they made you feel. It's not about getting hurt feelings or hurting someone else's feelings...... 

It's about that handwritten apology letter. It's about humanity. 

Every interaction we have could affect someone deeply. 

Yes; I'm anti-bully. I dream of a school that not one bully roams the hallways. But we've all been there, at some point, feeling down on ourselves from something someone else has said or done to us, so today- 

Make your words count. And if not, make sure that apology letter is signed and sealed by the next day! ;) 

Remember all of your imperfections add up to something beautiful. 

Something to Offer.

As a writer, what is your greatest tool? 

My iPhone has become my greatest tool. (stand down Droid users, I love the notes equally as much on them too!) 

I will have over 3-4 thousand notes at a time, and then all at once, 74.

Writing hits me often times in this all consuming way, like I can't get out what I want to write as quickly as it is coming; a torrential downpour in the desert. I will go days, weeks, maybe months or years without any real sort of inspiration; nothing will strike me. And then all the sudden, my fingers can't type fast enough and I have thirty different ideas and all sorts of words and openers and 'closers' (if you could use that as a word for what I'm trying to say) 

Writing is my way of experiencing the world around me; or rather, that I couldn't truly live without writing. I wouldn't know who I was, and I don't know how not to write. 

Sometimes it's just a word. I HAVE to use this word. It's the word in itself. Other times it is this melodic flow of an entire sentence, an entire passage or "chapter" (if it were to be finished, I could call it a chapter.) It's this sort of spider web of ideas . I used to write web diagrams in school. The entire page would be filed with big writing and small writing and bubbles off bubbles off bubbles, and now that I'm older, I do the same thing but with notes on my iPhone. My brain looks like this massive web diagram where at first glance it looks disorganized and messy, a bunch of words all thrown together and you don't know where to even begin let alone where to end. And then you see my room, on a night that I know I'm not having company or my mom, I always hope to impress her or atleast make her not feel uneasy about her surroundings. But that's how I work and how the world makes sense to me. In this big pile of "altogether" and then slowly I pull out this magnificent work of art. That's how my brain looks. That's how my room looks or my files saved on my computer; and I can imagine if one had the opportunity to live exclusively alone, this is probably how I would keep it. However, I'm cultured. I'm clean. I like myself and my surroundings to look nice for other people, although if we are being quite honest, my eyes don't see when there are dishes in the sink and there is a towel on the floor. And maybe at some point all of this will change and I will think, "Ugh. You used to have such disgusting habits!" Why did you write WEB diagrams that were just all over the place with no quite direction or purpose or rhyme or reason? Or maybe this is just me. And maybe something good will come of being just me; 

maybe a thousand notes on my iPhone, a messy, unorganized web diagram, and a touch of inspiration will change someone's heart one day. 

You have something to offer by being you; something you should. 

Eat. Five. Cupcakes.

It's the most wonderful time of year, or, as everyone I hear talk about, it's that time of year where everyone is concerned about how much weight they've gained or are anticipating gaining. 

And you know what I think? Eat. Five. Cupcakes. 

Enjoy every cupcake your grandma bakes, because one day you will miss that home-made taste so bad when she's not around. You will be wishing that you would have just ate one. more. cupcake. You will wish that you could have that sweet, warm taste of home all over again. 

You will be wishing you could eat that honey-baked spiral ham and juicy turkey when you're reheating ramen on your busy work schedule. 

You will be wishing you swam in a river of gravy on your mashed potatoes when you're on a Popsicle diet because of an unexpected surgery. 

You will be wishing you got seconds when you only have enough money to barely slide by with one meal. 

Enjoy the hundreds and hundreds of calories on your plate. And then again on your second plate. And while we're at it, your third plate. 

My point is this, eat your holiday dinner with friends and family and enjoy it. You never know what tomorrow will bring, and if eating a 3,000 calorie meal a few times a year is your worst offense, I think you will still make Santa's nice list! 

This is a meal to celebrate and enjoy. To share with loved ones and friends and strangers alike. To share happiness and send warm wishes for the New Year. It's a time of bounty and to give THANKS. 

So I say buy a pair of leggings, and EAT. 

Now excuse me while I go ponder all the wonderful foods I am about to stuff my face with this Holiday Season!! And I hope you will join me! 

This One's for the Girls

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, "Ugh. If I had a little less fat on my belly." Or "Ugh. If my teeth were just a little more straight and my boobs just a little bit bigger." I mean REAL insecurities. Things that I got made fun of in school for. Things that you want to hide on a first date or somehow distract them from. (Like when you wear a fancy headband because you didn't feel like brushing your hair so you put it in a messy bun and throw in a headband. don't lie, you've done it) 

When I am checking out at Wal-Mart and see ten magazines of perfectly sculpted bodies and think to myself, "Wow. I wish I looked like that. I need to hit the gym ASAP." 

It starts a spiral of negative self-talk. Which seems to be an incessant devil in your own mind if you even let one comment loose! I know, because I've been there. Negativity is all-consuming. It sucks the life out of you and throws you against a wall with every thought. 

But then I realized when I looked in the mirror, "Wow. You managed to work 9 hours and complete three exams for college and you STILL have eyeliner on! You go girl!" It was smudged. My eyes were droopy and tired. My foundation completely worn off, but hey, my eyeliner was still hanging on for me! It's the little things! It really is. 

Instead of berating myself when I look at a magazine in the check-out lane, I just stopped comparing myself to them. I started being genuinely happy for their success. Congratulating someone on their sculpted body, airbrushed skin and flawless hair feels a whole hell of a lot better than a negative slew of comments overwhelming my brain... In fact, it feels peaceful. Which is something that is hard to come across in the world we live in.

I realized that we each have the power to lift up other females. We have the power to stop gossiping, stop complaining, stop looking in the mirror and analyzing ourselves, and just start being FREE of all that negativity. And let me tell you, it is a joyous feeling. 

But don't be fooled. It doesn't come after a set amount of days. It doesn't come after you look in the mirror and see something GOOD. It doesn't come after ignoring the magazines and billboards. Actually, it is never really just THERE. This is something you work at with EVERY interaction. Every thought. Every comment. Until it gets easier and easier. Don't be afraid or discouraged when you keep feeling down on yourself, because everyone does! It's okay. What's not okay is to pack your positivity bags and give in to a negative self-image. 

I want you to remember you are beautiful. I want you to remember you are lucky to have the body and heart you were given, no one else can be you! Remember that. Remember at the end of a hard day, where you just want to cry and give in to negative self-talk, that you can make a difference in the world. It starts with your own mind. Your own self-talk. 

And then one day, when you're in line at a grocery store and your daughter looks at a magazine on the shelf, you can remind her how beautiful she is. How lucky she is to have her body and her heart and mind. You can show her every day by the confidence in your step, the conviction in your words, and the way you smile when you look in the mirror. 

You're beautiful.. Now go out and tell every girl you know; remind them how beautiful they are inside and out. 

••Feeling 23••

I just recently turned 23 years old. November 9, to be exact ;) It's kind of this weird stage where you are supposed to know where you're at in life, but you're still kind of crawling out of your own skin. You still feel a little awkward being called, "Ma'am" or "Miss," because, well, you probably still sit at the kids table on holidays. (It's more fun there, never move!) I think to a certain extent, though, we all deal with these periods in life. Periods of insecurity or anxiety of our futures; moments of doubt for what we have and will become. 

Learning to accept yourself in all that you have and will become is quite possibly the most challenging thing you will ever do; but loving yourself is quite possibly the most important thing you can ever do. 

I'm insecure at times. I have no qualms about admitting that.... Because you know what? Most people are occasionally. We don't just navigate through life flawlessly, and that's part of the joy in living! 

So I'm 23 now. I'm on to a whole new year of adventure and promise, of hope and sorrow, of creative ideas and too much Nutella when I'm sad. (maybe 23 won't be a Nutella year, I'm thinking...fresh fruit?) I'm on to a whole new year of setting goals, expressing myself, looking up to people and being an example for the young ones in my life to look up to as well. A new year filled with laughter and maybe some tears, filled with an insatiable craving to write and live. But most of all, I have 23 years of experience and a whole new year to learn. 

To learn the power of words. 

The power of self love. 

The power of forgiveness.

The power of giving.

The power of prayer.

The power of compassion.

The power of hard work.

The power of laughter.

The power of touch. 

The power of life.

I have the opportunity to make it a powerful year, and that's just what I intend to do. 

To learn and relearn. 

To transform my mind into a powerhouse of positivity. To create a sanctuary that will overflow into love for others. 

And maybe today it starts with telling myself I'm beautiful in the mirror, and I deserve the best. And maybe by the time I've had 50 birthdays, I'll be able to share this love with others, to create a legacy of women and children and men and boys who love themselves; who love what they have done in the world and who they are. I think that's so incredibly important; to be you, in a world where it's hard to remember who you are. To live with confidence that YOU is ENOUGH. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, funny enough...just enough. Enough for yourself and enough for anybody else. 

Cheers to 23; cheers to learning all I can if even only in my own mind. Want to change the world? Start with your own mind ;) 

Xo. 

Sarah. 

And since I am 23, why would I end this blog post without a hashtag?! 

#feeling23 #livelovelearn #powerofpositivity #selflove #youreagemforstillreadingthis 

 

Your Destiny Includes Failure.

I've been learning that sometimes the art of a craft is learning patience, and being willing to fail; willing to work and to know your destiny includes failure along the way. 

I have learned that you don't get things that are worth it without the work for it. Patience and I are 'frenemies.' In fact, I candidly opened up about my lack of patience at a recent job interview. It is not that I have road rage and I am impatient when somebody doesn't slam their gas pedal as soon as the light turns green, not that type of patience. I am able to exude patience in so many avenues of life, and then certain things I get uneasy and anxious about. The beautiful thing though, is that sometimes you just have to be still and wait. One of the most challenging things to attempt, majority of the time. Patience will forever be something that my heart yearns for, to do away with an anxious heart and welcome a patient, forgiving one. 

But I'm learning. 

I'm teaching myself and allowing the world to teach me.

It's okay to fail. It's not okay to stop trying. 

Sometimes You Can't Shake it Off

I am in love with TaySwift's song, "Shake it Off." I could put it on repeat for days and never tire of foolishly dancing my heart out..... 

But, there are certain things you just can't shake off. I wholeheartedly wish that you could, Taylor Swift. I really do. 

Sometimes things affect us to our very core and we just never are quite the same again. Sometimes one moment starts a domino effect. I think it's safe to say that people get ruined sometimes, of no fault of their own. They get dragged through the dirt so many times and deal with such excruciatingly heartbreaking, real things.. That as much as they try as hard as they can, they just simply can't shake it off.

And I don't think it's a matter of strength, or willpower.. I mean honestly, I don't know what it IS a matter of, but it's certainly not a reflection or lack of desire to change or bounce back. 

I don't understand how this happens. I don't understand WHY this happens. I wish it didn't happen. Life has this way of leaving scars so deep that you can't shake them.

I know what you're thinking. Great, I'm going to feel like this forever. But that's not true. Maybe you can't shake that experience or feeling off. Maybe you can't just focus on someone's hella good hair. Maybe it cut too deep to ever truly heal, maybe that will follow you for the rest of your life. 

But you know what you do? You become so aware of this scar, that you build a sanctuary around it. You don't shake it off. You accept it in everything it is, and you build around it. You build your friendships stronger. Your relationships deeper. Your career brighter. 

And then one day, you've built a life so filled with love and happiness and every other emotion that you no longer worry about that one thing that won't go away, because it did.

It went away. 

It wasn't easy, and sometimes you send up a quick prayer because it slips in and crosses your mind, but that's it. You're living again, and in a round about way, maybe you did just need to shake it off, it just took a little more shimmy. 

I'm alive.

I got a message the other day saying, "Life looks great! I love your Facebook profile picture!" (I talked with said person beforehand so as to not offend anyone by saying what I'm about to say) And not to say that I didn't appreciate the message, but it kind of irked me the more I thought about it. Not the message itself, but a deeper feeling inside me. One that was just sparked by this unexpected message..... 

My life on Facebook is such a TINY, small sliver of my being. It is what I use for comedy and safe keeping of pictures and a way to talk about the milestones in my life and keep up with the milestones of friends and family! You will catch an occasional depressing post, a post at 3AM where I clearly don't have a filter, and a vent about an unnamed person, but for the most part, I strive to keep my FaceBook account upbeat and positive, and to add a little bit of light, or if anything, "realness" to someone's life who happens to wander (or Facebook stalk) across my page.

I want, so badly, to feel pure happiness. It is this high that I am chasing. Chasing through accomplishments and relationships and goals and material things I've obtained; just chasing. 

The sad thing I've come to realize in my reflection about this, is that I think we all do this at some point. (if not forever.) We forever chase this facade of happiness and we forget to just be alive. People base other people's "life" on their "happiness." I think we should base other people's lives on if they are living! 

We forgot to feel that pain. We forget to feel disappointed. We block out moments of unhappiness. And you know what I think? I think we should stop worrying so hard about being happy, and more time worrying about being alive. To feel all the feelings we can feel and experience every moment no matter what emotion it incites in us; but to accept and live in it just as. it. comes. Not only if it is happiness. Not only if it brings us joy. Not only if we feel accomplished.

A moment in sadness or regret is no less significant to your journey than a moment of happiness, in fact, I truly believe that it's those hard moments that shape us. Just as a fire forges steel, so do our challenges in life. So why do we strive for something so vehemently that will only soon elude us? 

Because life is a million little things. A bunch of moments all crammed into one big thing tied with a pretty bow called, "life." So let's focus on enjoying all the little things, and not just the big moments of happiness. 

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in happiness. I believe in permanent laughter wrinkles and working towards happiness. I think life should and is designed to bring us great happiness and satisfaction. I also believe in feeling wholeheartedly in the other moments in life, because it is simply impossible to only feel happiness all of the time. 

So stop lying to yourself and everyone around you when you're not happy. Happiness will come in it's own time and it's own way, and in the mean time, stop adding to your own unhappiness by worrying and stressing about being happy! It's just nonsense! We're meant to feel other things than happiness...... 

Go ahead, let them in. 

So yes, I'm happy on Facebook, and really, for the most part in life. But I'm also alive, welcoming the millions of moments and emotions that come with life. 

My name is Sarah and I am a basic b****.

Hi. My name is Sarah and I am a basic b****.

There's this viral idea sweeping the internet that if you love certain things, you may be basic. Well, I check off 99% of every list, every time. So I thought in light of those lists, I would tell you all the reasons why I'm basic.

Let's get all of the obvious reasons out of the way first

I breathe.
I walk.
I often wear shoes.
I own many plain, white, basic t-shirts.
I take showers.
I have a phone.
I brush my teeth and floss.

Okay, now let's go under the microscope:

I do like tattoos of:
Silhouettes of birds
Dream catchers
Infinity signs
Script in a different language

 I will dance like a fool to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" video and not be one bit ashamed.

I love wax melts that smell like the holidays.

I usually add filters to my pictures. Or five.

I go nuts with Victoria Secrets 5 for $26 panties! (No pun intended)

 I love the television show New Girl like nobody's business. I once watched an entire season in one day, and probably looked like Penny from Big Bang Theory when it was over. 

 I love leggings. No, I don't just love leggings... Leggings are my WARDROBE. I have a slight legging addiction Jenna Marbles style.

 

 I am all about Apple iPhone. I jumped on the Apple train (does that make any sense) a little while ago. Once you go IPhone, you never go back.

I love Ugg boots. I love knockoff Ugg  boots. And if you can honestly tell me that you don't enjoy wearing slippers for the entirety of your day and them passing as acceptable shoes, you're just strange.

I take Selfies. A. Lot. Of. Selfies.

Ahh, a mirror selfie with iPhone.
BASIC.

 I like Starbucks. It wakes me up when I need a big kick of caffeine. I don't dig PSL (Pumpkin Spice Lattes) though. -1 basic point.

I would LOVE to have a Michael Kors watch that costs half my paycheck. Along with a purse that costs more than $20. And I would love to only buy NorthFace fleece. Period.


The point of my little tirade here, is that just because I'm "basic,"doesn't mean I'm not multifaceted as well. Just because I listen to TaySwift doesn't mean I can't love WuTang Clan and just because I love Ugg boots, doesn't mean I can't rock some Nikes. I think it's pretty shallow to categorize people as basic, because, well, we're all basic.... Basically unique in our own ways.

There's a much deeper, intelligent side to all of us! Sure, you may enjoy a good old cup of Starbucks, but since when do your taste buds dictate your intelligence?! The thing about most of these "basic b****" classifications, is that they are related to material possessions or preferences. Leggings, Ugg boots, a purse more expensive than $20, etc. Look at the list, many of these items are expensive! So if you love them, congrats!! You probably work hard and have earned them! Congrats on getting the opportunity to be basic, it'll cost ya a pretty penny! ;)

 If what you love is popular, it shouldn't matter. If what you love is NOT popular, it shouldn't matter. Let's just LIKE what we LIKE. That's it!

And to finish off with a really basic b***** thing to say, "Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!"

  ...no, seriously though. You're perfect. Flaunt that basic self! ;)

Shades of Gray

I've grown very intimate with this little thing in life called, "emotions;" whether I want to or not. So much so that many nights I have lied awake praying for an OFF button so I could just get five minutes of peace from my own brain. 

When we are going through a heartbreak or a particularly difficult point in our lives, sometimes our emotions become confusing. I found myself at one point Google-ING mental health disorders and checking boxes to self-diagnose myself with some disease because, well, because I was feeling. Turns out, nothing is wrong with feeling and it is actually not a disorder, as much as the world tries to make us robots in the feelings department. I am not psychotic and I don't own fifty cats, yeah, baby kittens sure are cute, but it's just not my thing. But you know what IS my thing? Experiencing emotions as they come, and knowing that is okay. Sometimes life will bring me regret, sadness, pain, happiness, excitement, and sorrow... But to experience each one, I don't think you can leave out any. 

When I love, I love hard. When I laugh, my abs hurt. I've never really known an in-between and I've been told my whole life that this is some sort of fault; and quite frankly, I don't dig that. I think I was made in His image and there is a reason that I may FEEL differently than YOU feel. Or maybe you're sitting there reading this thinking, "Gosh I am so glad I'm not the only one." ((p.s. You're not the only one. I've met other people with a soul like mine)) 

I may not be able to coast in life. I may not be able to just be okay and fake a smile. I may not be able to hide my feelings. 

I do sometimes wear my heart on my sleeves, or rather, on my entire body and every article of clothing I own. I do sometimes cry at the most inopportune times. I do sometimes gawk at the yellow stop light because of how absolutely beautiful that shade is against the turning leaves of fall. ((I'm serious on that one. Autumn turns the most mundane things into gems; no kidding I sat at a yellow light in awe at how perfect the shade is against the fall leaves, check it out next time you hit the road)) 

I don't let everybody else dictate what I can and cannot feel. When I can feel. How I can feel. What I should feel. What is right or wrong to feel at what specific times. I let my heart, my mind, my experiences, and my faith dictate that. And it has taken me so long to get to this point where I am okay not letting anybody else tell me that; and being myself. I am at a point where I don't feel weak for having this plethora of emotions, but I feel strong for experiencing this and telling the world who I am, before it tells me first. 

So I guess what it all boils down to, is I don't know what gray is. I never did, and I hope one day, you too can experience the ferocity of human emotions without fear of holding back. 

Today just let yourself feel, and know that God gave you your unique personality and emotions to face the world with, and better yet, to shape the world with. He didn't make us all different so we could try so hard to be like one another!

Gray is over-rated. 

Today.

The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow!

What is Love?

Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more.

What is love?!

Okay! Now that the soundtrack to this blog post is stuck in your head- let's continue!

 

I'm one of those hopeless romantics that truly believes love is what makes the world go round ((yeah, yeah... I get the gist, physicist.. angular momentum is a tiiiiny part of that too))

 

It's not something you can define, but something you feel. But as you know, I'm big on words...

 

Love fascinates me, intrigues me. It's not something you can define, but something you feel. But as you know, I'm big on words, so I thought- "What is love?" ((queue the soundtrack in your head again, you're welcome! ;))  Or rather, "How would you define love in words?" 

 

I asked a number of people to define love in 1-2 sentences, so without further adieu:  

 

 "Love is bacon."

Age 45

 

 "Love is being nice and kissing each other."

Age 8 

"Love is Blind, love is different in every relationship, love is what you make of it, when you are away from the person you're in a relationship with and your heart tingles that's love..

Love is when I'm too sick to wipe my own nose or ass!"

Age 42 

 

"Love is...what makes the world go round. It makes the ride worth it."

Age 26

"Selfless, vulnerable Love in the raw is terribly scandalous. It does not make logical sense... much like God Himself. They cannot be separated."

Age 22 

"If you love someone you will be or do anything for them....  What comes to mind is The Notebook, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

Age 32 

"Love is destructive beauty. It's eternal and never dies and could make or break you."

Age 17

"Love is inconsistent. It endures only through unconditional commitment."

Age 22

"The best and only definition of love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Age 23

"Love is unbreakable and spans all space and time. It is unbiased and the most powerful thing in existence. Love is infinite."

Age 22 

"This is from a website I read once, "Love is like pushing a button and getting a cookie every time, but eventually you only get a cookie one in every 100 pushes, the other 99 times you get pooped on by a bird, but you still push the button waiting for that one time you get a cookie."

Age 23

"Love is light, love is warmth and kindness, love is honesty and truth.  Love is capable, love is worth, love is never immediate.  Love will always be eternal."

Age 34 

"Love is the chemical reaction in our brains that triggers an emotional response with a physical action to show we care about someone or something."

Age 23 

"Love is an act of expression. 

It means nothing if you don't show it."

Age 33

"To me love is caring. It's being willing to go to the ends of the earth for someone else's well being.  Love is meeting in the middle,  and not always getting your way. It's respect. It's trust. It's friendship and family. It's listening with an open mind and heart,  and being a shoulder to cry on at 2am when needed. Without love the world would shatter in isolation."

Age 20 

"Love is being able to trust and depend on another person without reservation. I also think love is a warmth- a "spark" in my heart when I see the other person coming to be with me. Love means listening carefully to the other person."

Age 89 

 

How would YOU define love? Shoot me a message or leave a comment below! I always LOVE hearing from you! 

 

...man, I love LOVE.

How do YOU define love?

 

 

 

Dear Self-

Dear Stubborn Self,

Why can you not take your own advice? Stop being so stubborn and talk to yourself how you talk to your best friend. That beautiful mind in between your two ears is actually not your enemy; start acting like it. Here's some advice and words of wisdom I am bestowing upon you.... And self, read all the way through. I know how you like to skim important documents. 

1. Stop being so hard on yourself. Seriously, stop. ((There you go again.)) Try looking in the mirror and liking what you see, not analyzing what you see. 

2. Keep working out. But don't just work out for the "WOW factor" for everybody else. Work out for yourself. For your health. For your personal satisfaction. 

3. Please, please come to grips with the fact that not everyone has the same heart as you. &&that's okay. Try to understand where other people are coming from and help people understand where you are coming from. Be patient when dealing with matters of the heart. 

4. I'll try to be lay this one on you as nicely as humanly possible. It's Selfie-Sunday...Not Selfie-MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday 

5. Codependent relationships will never work. Being needy, clingy, and insecure is not only annoying, but it is disrespecting yourself. You are a gem in this big world. A rare beauty that has a sense of humor, crooked teeth, a giving spirit, intelligence, and the biggest heart. Not everyone has that to offer, especially crooked teeth. Ha, okay, maybe what I'm getting at is someone should not only accept your flaws, but cherish them. They will never lie or hurt you. Remember you're own worth always.

6. You simply cannot own the entire Humane Society in your apartment. I'm sorry. 

7. Remember that the only person responsible for your happiness is you. 

8. You are allowed to have other clothes in your wardrobe other than teal, turquoise, and mint. Psht. Who am I kidding?! GIVE ME ALL THE MINT CLOTHES NOW! 

9. Cleaning is actually a healthy part of being an adult. I know you will never love it, but you HAVE to do it. Calling a room an "organized clutter" does not make it pass as organized, sorry. 

10. Go do things by yourself for goodness sake! Want to see a movie nobody else does? More popcorn for you! ((And you won't even have to feel a twinge of guilt for getting the popcorn man to add in layers of butter in sickening amounts)) Which by the way, he should get a pay increase for making that happen. 

11. It's okay to cry it out. Just don't live there. Don't camp out in your room with your besties Ben &Jerry and endless seasons of Netflix. Cry it out, and then work it out. Period.

12. Remember the saying, "Work like it's up to you, pray like it's up to God?" It's a good one- use it. 

13. Stop relying on your memory for everything. It's terrible when you need it most. Write important things down, promise it will pay off. 

14. Put yourself first. It does not make you selfish to think of yourself and do what is best for you. Again, you are not selfish for thinking of yourself. Wait... Let me tell you again, it does not make you selfish to think of yourself. Got it? 

15. And lastly, take the time to do one thing every day that you love, just for you. Refill your soul and rejuvenate your weary mind with things you love. 

Sincerely,

You. 

BLOGATHON!

Spectacular news people! My blog about education got selected for a blogathon by BreakThrough TV called #selfiesforschool! Breakthrough’s #Selfies4School campaign is a campaign that aims to send young girls to school, because we believe that education can help break the cycle of early marriage. Every blog you submit helps send 10 girls to school.

#Selfies4School

 Check out this link for my story- and submit a #selfie4school yourself

Many thanks to Arunima for reading my blog and coordinating this wonderful site to promote education across the globe through the power of words! You are doing great things in the world- thank you for allowing me to be a part of this great cause!

Endless thanks to everyone who reads and keeps up to date with my blog- It really does mean the WORLD to me! Love you all!

http://tell-a-tale.com/

Awake with Passion!

I don't want to just coast through life and just be. I want to have a fire for life; I want to awake with passion!

I want my soul to dance with happiness from a purpose that is being fulfilled. I crave this; I crave this for myself and for the world.

I want to kiss passionately under the stars, whisper sweet-nothing's in each other's ears, write until dawn, travel where love is needed... I want to live; I want you to truly live. 

Through all of life's ordinary, mundane tasks I want to see them as extraordinary. I want the little things to matter most; I want the little things to matter most for you, too. 

Life may be hard, it may be knocking you down right now- but remember your strength and get back up! Tell the world who you are! 

What impact are YOU making today? The journey to a life filled with passion starts now. 

Crossroads of Freedom: College

His eyes were iceberg blue; he wore a torn and tattered OD green coat in the whipping wind. His large, rough hands gripped a one-word cardboard sign that read, "Imagine." A one-word cardboard sign that hit me like a bullet.

The light turned green. My heavy heart seemed to coarse through my veins all the way to my right foot and the gas petal mashed the floorboard. As I attempted to gulp down the frog in my throat, I imagined what his life must have encompassed, the roads he may have crossed to get to this street corner of humiliation. But as my mind turned this over and over again, I began to transition from not imagining this stranger's life, but imagining my own Dad; and moreover, thinking of my life.

You could say I've been dealt an ace in a hand full of struggles. I've witnessed heart wrenching events, lent a helping hand when it was probably time to walk away, and poured my whole being into holding a family together, but I will always have the knowledge that came with those events. The more I thought about that sign, I realized this could have been anyone; it could have been my Dad; my hero in my life that almost didn't make it. Or, it could have been me. 

That cardboard sign has stuck with me throughout the years. Encouraging me to take a different perspective and 'Imagine.' I now crave travel. I crave stories. I crave the knowledge it takes to delve deeper into the hearts and minds of those surrounding me on this little planet called Earth. Education is my window of opportunity to stop imagining, and start doing. Start seeking cultures that need a voice, people that have faced injustice, and seeds of knowledge planted in the minds of those who do not know it yet. I'm an aspiring photojournalist that is out to change the world; to explore, write, and capture the moments, memories, and stories of people around the world.  I have an incessant keyboard in my mind typing out accounts of the world through my eyes, and a higher education would allow me to excel in the pursuit of my dream. 

I believe we each start life with a breath of hope. We don't start with capturing charisma, eternal reassurance, or even the strength to love; we learn. We experience each avenue our life leads us, and sometimes we cross paths with a man on a street corner that makes us think, makes us imagine our path, and sometimes we come to a crossroads of freedom: college.  

 

High School Graduation

Graduated with Associate of Arts-
Now a full-time student at University of Colorado Denver

 

Am I the Only One?

Let's face it- we're all a little...unique. We each have our weird quirks and silly views on the world around us and ourselves. Anyone else out there have any of these in common with me? If so, rest assured you are not alone. 

I am NOT a singer. Like, I should NEVER quit my day job kind of deal. I loooove karaoke and I can thoroughly annoy every neighbor within a 3 mile radius while in the shower, however, I have no illusions about the extent of being tone deaf ;) 

I think the blue and red gummy worms should be the only gummy worms that exist. Period. 

Baby sloths and I have kindred spirits.... Okay or I just think they are literally one of the cutest things to walk this beautiful Earth. 

I've noticed that I feel most comfortable with a book nestled in my arm. It's like this shield of knowledge that helps me gain ten leaps of confidence in my step. 

I strongly believe the "smolder" is the "raspy voice" of faces. And I think both are undeniably sexy.... Flynn Ryder- you had me at. the. smolder. 

When I daydream, my eyes have a complete possibility that they will pop outside of my actual noggin. They go beyond "deer in the headlights" status. Not a pretty look, my friends... Oh, but the daydreams! 

I look and feel like a new-born giraffe in short dresses. Is the dress too short? Are my legs awkwardly long? Is this sarcasm?

I am not a clean person. I have the best organizational skills, I can redecorate a house on a low budget, but seriously guys, I canNOT manage to hang up my towel or put the toilet paper roll back on the dispenser. Hygienically, might as well call me OCD as I use a clean towel every day because I refuse to hang it up, but my house I would like to classify as an organized clutter. Come on, I can find everything and I am definitely getting better- much, much better. ((Mom, all those years of chores have not gone to waste!) But I will never love it. Sorry. 

I have a sick obsession with school supplies. The most wonderful time of the year? Christmas? Hahahah. Wrong. School supply shopping time. Ahh, sweet, sweet pens and notebooks GET IN MY CART! 

I think flirting is an art form. Some people are just not artists, and then there's others... Isn't flirting sex of the mental variety?? I mean, who doesn't love that?! 

I have tried thousands of times to not make the "mascara face," it just doesn't work. The face is a part of the routine, I swear! People, you just don't get lashes for days if you don't have a ridiculous open mouth concentrated stare in the mirror. 

I believe love and laughter are the cure to all ailments. A healing power comes with a good laugh, and the power of love is beyond any science. 

With all my love,

TheWordMedic.