New Year, New Me

For everyone saying "New Year, New Me," here are some beneficial lyrics from Stacie Orrico's song Strong Enough 😘

"He took my life into his hands and it turned it all around

In my most desperate circumstance

It's there I've finally found

That You are strong enough

That You are pure enough

To break me, pour me out and start again

That You are brave enough

To take one chance on me

Oh Thank You for my chance to start again!" 

He is brave enough.

He is pure enough. 

He is strong enough to break you, pour you out, and START AGAIN. Trust in The Lord; not empty New Year's resolutions. 🎉

Things I Want My StepDaughter To Know

Okay, so I'm not married, so she's not "officially" my stepdaughter, but in my heart she absolutely is, no matter what. I've compiled a list of things I want her to know; and this is only the beginning...

1. I love you.

2. I will never replace your mother or try to be your mother. You two have always and will always share a special and unique bond, just as all lucky girls get to have with their moms! You and I will have our own relationship that does not compete with your Mom, just like how you can have a relationship with your Aunt or your Gigi... I'm another person to love you and be there for you in every step along your life journey! I play a different role in your life than your Mom, and that's okay! :)

3. I used to despise the word "stepmother," because there are so many evil portrayals of it. I never want to be the "EVIL stepmom!" But in building a relationship with you over these past four years, I've come to know that it doesn't matter what you call me, or what anyone else calls me. What matters is our relationship; not the title. And actually, when you call me your stepmom, my heart actually plops out on the floor into a giant puddle of  happiness. You're my family, too.

4. I love your Dad. I love him so incredibly much; just like you! You never have to compete for his attention, affection, or time. You two will always share a Dada-Daughter bond that is irreplaceable! Nothing and nobody will ever compare to your relationship; we can both love him in different ways. (He needs lots of love... From us both!)

5. I would do anything for you. (Okay, I lied. I won't give you my beans. Bwahaha) Almost anything though. I am here for happy and sad and mad and glad and terrible horrible no good very bad days.

6. You teach me more than you could ever imagine. Not just the fun trivia, new hit lyrics, poems, new jokes, how to draw, etc. I mean you REALLY teach me about life and love and all the inbetweens.

7. I am so thankful to be a part of your life. And I could only hope you are thankful I am in yours as well. Even when I'm hangry.

8. I hope you will continue to discover and learn everything you possibly can in your lifetime. Never lose that curiosity for life that you have.

9. Boys are stupid. Okay.... Sorry. They're not all bad. But when you do get your heart broken one day by some idiot, I hope you will find it in your heart to let love in again. Find someone who truly cherishes everything about you; you are an absolute gem! "Find someone worth melting for" -Olaf.

10.  I hope you take opportunities to step outside your comfort zone. It will feel uneasy at first, but it will be worth it.

11. The power of giving is magical; never stop thinking of the people who need your help. But never stray from thinking of yourself as well.

12. You can always, always fall back on family. You have been blessed with so many people surrounding you that love and care about you deeply; never hesitate to ask for help. With anything!

13. I'm always dreaming for you and the beautiful life you deserve. Make a life you're proud of, and make it your own!

To all the evil stepmothers out there, here's to our beautiful, rambunctious, intelligent, spunky, and gorgeous stepchildren... Cheers to being a "step" above the rest!

Inside-Out

I wish I could tell every human just how absolutely beautiful and strong they are. I wish I could imprint young, impressionable minds to know this, too.

But I can't. 

I need your help. 

I need you to realize just how powerful the mind is. It's amazing, really. The power of positive thinking? It can create a whole new world. 

People grow up feeling horrible. They grow up feeling ugly, inadequate, fearful, insecure ... They grow up never knowing how powerful their mind is. How powerful they are. 

They think, "I won't go anywhere in life, why try?" They think, "Nobody will ever truly love me, I'm ugly." They think, "I'm failing. I can't turn this around." 

These are all lies. 

Lies that they (maybe you, too) have been conditioned to believe. 

The truth is, you're beautiful. You're worth the effort. You can make a difference in the world. Somebody already does love you. Failure is the first step to success. And finally, you CAN turn this mindset around. 

You are in control of your behavior and your actions. The first step is positive thinking. ((Yeah, yeah.. You've heard it before. This time, actually TRY it))

It's time to start repairing our bodies from the inside-out. To transition our minds from negative thinking, to uplifting, encouraging thoughts. From feeling miserable and horrible, to doing one thing a day to make you happy. Happiness does not just ARRIVE; you create your own happiness. 

When was the last time you ate cake and realized you just got a six pack afterwards? 

...never.

Me too. (I was disappointed too, don't worry.)

We can't expect to make bad decisions in life, and be happy. We have to WORK for happiness.... For our relationships, for our figures, for our talents, for our careers, for our money, for our faith. Our minds do not automatically default to hope and happiness, but we can change that. 

Today is the day to start. Don't wait for the new year for happiness to arrive. 

You're beautiful, and you're worth it. 

Time to start believing it. Time to put to rest all the excuses, all the doubts, all the procrastination. No more. Go out and be happy, know your value in life. 

Please share this with someone you know suffering with negative self-image. If that's you, I hope you begin to see your true worth and value in life. You're a miracle; time to start believing it! 

I'm still learning this. It's one of the reasons I can write about it. I'm still learning how to be confident and secure and happy. I'm still working on myself from the inside-out, and I hope you'll join me in this never-ending venture!

Things I forget WAY too often..

HASHTAGFORGETFUL

1. That I have just as many hours in my day as Taylor Swift. (No excuses anymore!) 

2. I am the Daughter of a King. (And how very often I forget that! I was beautifully and wonderfully made through Him, and I am loved unconditionally. Why is that not enough sometimes?) 

3. To turn off my straightener.

4. That I am valuable. 

5. The difference between a nickel and a dime. I'm sorry, they just look SO similar..... I don't know what it is. I'll stick to plastic, please. 

6. That I can actually function without my phone. I think I've had minor heart attacks over seeing my battery at 1% when I won't be around my charger for another few hours. #thestruggleisreal

7. Laughter is the best medicine. 

8. Where I'm going. No, literally. I don't think I possess a mental compass in my brain. (Dear kidnappers, please don't ever steal me- I will NEVER find my way home!) 

9. To close my mouth when I'm putting on mascara.

10. That I can't eat an entire pizza with Sriracha and expect to wear anything else but a giant poncho and leggings the next day. (Talk about food babies...)

11. That I will eventually pass away. Sometimes I feel as if this life is permanent, but I don't want to just start living only when I'm told I'm going to die. 

12. I get what I allow. (Meaning if a relationship or otherwise is not going right, it's because I'm allowing those actions and feelings to continue. Only person in charge of my life is and should be me. Oh yes, and of course the big man upstairs!) 

13. To not mention Facebook in real life. It always makes for a real stalker moment when you know something about someone that they have never told you, but you've seen online. (Psssst. I'm watching you) .....agh. That was so creepy. Please forget you just read that! 

14. That people have better things to do than read really long blog lists..... But thanks for reading! 

What kind of things do you forget all the time? #forgetful

MUST LOVE DOGS

I was sitting in my car today eating a bag of dry Cheerios in a parking lot (glamorous life, I know) I saw this old man pull up in front of me with his dog sitting right there in the passenger seat, or rather, his butt was in the passenger seat and everything else had managed to get as close to his owner as possible. Okay, he was practically hugging him, let's be serious. The old man was clearly talking to him because there was no one else in the car, and when he got out, the dog bowed his head and continued to look out the window the entire time the owner was gone. He literally did not move; he looked out the window and patiently awaited his owner's arrival. 

I thought that the dog would eventually get antsy and lay down or move around the car, or look out a different window. He never did. He stayed in one spot consistently until he got back. 

When he finally came back, the dog could not contain his excitement. Neither could the old man. He was petting him and talking to him and the dog was wagging his tail as if it was the last time he would ever wag his tail! 

The whole encounter just made me smile. The loyalty the dog had to his owner, the happiness the two of them clearly shared, and the excitement of the meeting after only a couple moments was all so endearing. 

It reminded me of my relationship with God. Not only that I talk to him out loud when nobody's around, and wag my tail like nobody's business when I listen to a good worship song, but that sometimes I leave Him. 

Sometimes I stray from Him in life, but he is always right there looking out the window with steadfast patience waiting for me to come back. He is loyal. 

When I get too consumed with my friends or family, with work, with material possessions... When I get consumed by feelings of anxiety and emotion. I forget the loyalty He has to me. I forget where I come from. 

I wander from Him. Sometimes for a long time, and other times for only a moment, but my God is always right there beside me during every step of the way, and patiently waiting for me to come back. 

And one day, I know the excitement we will both share when I finally go home and we meet again. It will be as if I had never left. 

So despite the fact that if I ever had to get a dating profile it really would say, "MUST LOVE DOGS," I think this can teach us all a lesson, even if you're more of a cat person.

Our God is loyal and steadfast. When we stray from Him he is always patiently waiting our arrival. He is always excited when we pray and is the best listener. He doesn't seek out other interests or forget about you because you left, or because you sinned. He is forever loyal.

So the next time you feel insecure, the next time you feel depressed, and the next time you feel like it's too late to go back.. Remember that your God is patiently and loyally awaiting your arrival. Just come as you are back to Him, the excitement you will share will be unsurpassable. 

••Time Will Pass Anyway••

"Never give up on a dream because of the time it takes to achieve it. The time will pass anyway." 

I can't express enough how true this is; and how I wish I could engrave this on people's hearts. 

If you're over 40 and you want to go to college- Go. If you are 22 and want to start college but all your friends already have their degrees- Go. Start now. In twenty years, I promise you will wish you did. It's not too late. What is 'too late' anyways? Standards set for us by how society should function? Well, we don't all have the luxury to spend the next four years out of High School just learning. Maybe you had kids of your own who you dedicated all your time to. Maybe you had to work two jobs to make it on your own. Maybe you got married and followed him to a different state. Maybe you just didn't want to at that time. 

But now you do. And NOW is never too late. Think of your life after you graduate, the time will pass anyways. 

Is a big event coming up and you need to get in shape? Start now. The time will pass anyways. You're either going to feel confident and healthy and alive, or you're going to be crawling out of your skin uncomfortably the whole time. 

NOW is never too late. 

Did you stay with someone too long when it was time to walk away? Now you're thinking it's too late to dream of becoming a wife, a husband, a mom or dad. It's not too late. Time will pass anyway. Dream now. 

Whatever it is that time is holding you back from, start now. 

If it takes ten years, two months, fifty years..... Start NOW; because now is never too late. 

I don't care how gray you are. I don't care how inexperienced you are. I don't care what kind of looks other people are going to give you. I don't care if you never have enough time to finish. Start now.

It's not too late; time will pass anyways. 

Adding Up to Beautiful

I remember this one particular time getting made fun of in High School; it's a memory that I replay in my mind when my mind wanders and thinks about all my imperfections. Why it stuck out among all the others is beyond me. The sad thing is, I really don't remember what was even said exactly. (But I do remember how it made me feel.) It was something to the extent of, "You should really get braces!" Or something of the sort, I don't know. I remember just looking at him, pausing in silence trying to find the right words to say, and just saying, "I know." 

But I remember laying in bed and crying and just thinking, "I should have said something clever back!" I turned it over in my head for weeks. Wishing I could go back to that exact moment and have some witty insult to say back. Wishing I could say, "Yeah, well you can fix teeth! You can't fix being mean!" And I had decided that this would have been the best comment. My mantra in my own mind became, "You can't fix mean but you can get braces." 

I let him make me feel insecure about my appearance. I let him get inside my head. 

Hearing someone comment on something I criticize myself for had made me bitter. It made me want to throw insults back. It made me want to make HIM feel what I had felt. It made me want to cry and remind myself of the laundry-list of flaws I have. 

But then he approached me at school one day and took back his comment. Actually... he WROTE me an apology letter on his own accord. (And you say humanity doesn't exist?!) It really helped me see that sometimes we get picked on not to put our own insecurities in the spotlight, but because people don't think before they speak and we're all just a bunch of walking, talking, insecure people. (To one extent or another) Maybe someone was picking on him that day. Maybe he had a bad home life. Maybe he felt insecure about his own teeth. Who will ever know?! (I don't think there's ever a justification for bullying, but I do think there are REASONS behind those type of comments) 

I learned that it's not about some witty insult. It's not about making someone else feel what they made you feel. It's not about getting hurt feelings or hurting someone else's feelings...... 

It's about that handwritten apology letter. It's about humanity. 

Every interaction we have could affect someone deeply. 

Yes; I'm anti-bully. I dream of a school that not one bully roams the hallways. But we've all been there, at some point, feeling down on ourselves from something someone else has said or done to us, so today- 

Make your words count. And if not, make sure that apology letter is signed and sealed by the next day! ;) 

Remember all of your imperfections add up to something beautiful.