Tempted by F E A R

There are a lot of hurting people in this world.

Talk about h e a r t b r e a k i n g.

I went and saw the movie, “The Desolation of Smaug,” as a fun time out of the house this weekend. I sat there with my Red Vines in hand, admiring the grandiosity of such a giant screen (yes, it still gets me every time although I’ve seen a thousand movies) I was so excited to see this movie….. Only when I got there, my stomach turned upside-down.

Images of young, innocent people flashed through my mind that have been on the news. Names raced through my mind of people who were victims of the multiple shootings at schools, theaters, and other public places. So many innocent lives taken….. all for what? I thought- what if it was me? What if it was my family that fell victim to these events?

What would I do?

Panic set in. The kind of clammy hands, frog in my throat, flight or fight mode.

I sat there and forced myself to change my thought process. I had to actively remind myself that I was safe. I wanted to leave more than anything. My Red Vines became dead weight in my hand, and the giant screen became daunting and unnerving. I wanted to run away and stay in my safe home, without the threats of some stranger. And I thought, how many people are thinking this same thing? How many people feel uneasy outside of their home because of all the events that have transpired lately?

It’s not fair. It’s a wicked world, at times. But I stayed. I watched the movie and enjoyed every minute of it, and I’m here to write about it. <-- That shouldn’t be something anyone has to say, as if I am some war hero that survived two tours and lives to tell the story.

But I’m not..

I just survived a movie..

And the sad thing is, recently, some people don’t.

 A movie, a school, a church, a home…. all places that should be safe. It breaks my heart what these tragedies are instilling in people.

But despite the fear that sets in, we have to trust in the Lord to provide safety and security. Being still and trusting in the Lord is not being “complacent.” I (way too often) confuse these two concepts. Being still and trusting in the Lord doesn’t mean you aren’t taking action and doing what you need to do. It’s trusting that God’s plan is right. Trusting that God is the ultimate judge, that God is here through every crossroad, every challenge we may face. So when we are tempted to stay in our homes, tempted to live in fear, remember, “¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

I WILL NOT let the 'shooters' get satisfaction. I won't live in a world dictated by fear. I won't be scared to go to a movie... I won't put someone on a pedestal and honor what they have done, when it was wrong. I will hold my God higher, and higher... instead of putting the "shooter" into a fame category and letting them dictate my thoughts.

You decide who gets the media attention, the shooter && the fear- or the POWER of our God to bring us THROUGH these events.

My God is standing front row center with every soldier on the front lines....

 

My God is also sitting front row center in every movie.

 

 

 

 

 

We're all fools in love..

I love LOVE. I love the unconditional love given to us by our God, I love romantic love, I love sisterly and brotherly love, I love the love of parents, I love the love of a hobby, the love of sweets, the love of writing, memories, pictures, and the list goes on for ages….

As I was talking to someone who has lived a full life, told by the laughter wrinkles on the sides of her emerald green eyes, I realized the heart break she had experienced, the number of times she has broken someone’s heart and had hers broken, and all the depths of the emotion told by the way her eyes brightened when she talks about her children, the way they diverted from mine when she was ashamed of her failed relationships, and the way even today- her emotions reflect my own, at just 22 years old.

We’re all the same in love. We’re all equal; we are all fools in love. It doesn’t matter if you have been through three divorces, or if someone is your first, we are all stripped of every learning experience, knowledge of past events, and thrown into a chemical and emotional madness of what we call, LOVE.

 

You see, it doesn’t matter if you “know the drill,” once you enter into any act of love; your heart is made new. You are just as vulnerable, if not more, than someone who has never known love. You are stripped of your pride and every relationship faux pas will probably come up. It is inevitable to make mistakes, to even make many of the same mistakes you have made before; we are all made fools in love. We overthink, cry, stay on cloud nine, give too much.. We let love consume us, and despite the fact that my heart is hurting, I say, let it.

Be vulnerable to love. Give too much. Overuse “I love you.” Take pictures of every moment.

L O V E  hard, love with all of you.

Yes, I know it will hurt THAT much more at the end, or when time proves itself and you lose a loved one.

But we aren’t sent here to experience unconditional love. We CAME from unconditional love, and are called BACK to unconditional love. We are here on Earth experiencing mad love, crazy love, messy love, broken love, whole love, personal love.. We will mess up, we will go through life and whether we are 15 wide-eyed and innocent, or 98 and wise, we are all made to be fools in love; fabulously foolish and brilliantly flawed.

So take time to love today; don’t hold back.

 

 

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

What do YOU do, when CO floods?!

I'm in the midst of poor Colorado right now- we have had everything from fires to floods over this summer. So I've made the wise decision to stay warm and dry inside- &&this is what ends up happening!

Photoshoot, babeh.

Muah;
PhotoSoul Sarah.

Hardy har. har.

Here's a break from all the serious posts....Photographers- you know how true these are!!

With love,
PhotoSoul Sarah.

Hot. Off. The. Press!

Praise. The. Lord.

I AM SO EXCITED!!

This little baby just came to me, hot off the press! ;) Brand spankin' new National Geographic magazine for August 2013.

oh. yes.

I know, I know....it's JUST a magazine. But to me, it is sooo much more. First of all, it's the most amazing magazine to ever exist. Second, the pictures are worth MORE than a thousand words. Third, I got it myself. With the job I have, the money in my own account, and the apartment under my name. Let freedom riiiiiing, people. The American Dream is different for everyone, and I may still want a house and two.point.five. children, but for now....a teensy tiny, perfect apartment with the perfect company is good enough for me :)

I've learned that it's okay to celebrate the tiniest accomplishments....and if getting a subscription to NatGeo in my name is important to me, then it's all the more reason to celebrate! You should try it some time. After all, it's all about the ride, right?

Now excuse me while I go lose myself in the pure joy of my new NatGeo.....

With Love,
PhotoSoulSarah.

Jealousy.

It gets the best of us, doesn't it?

We live in this never-ending world filled with constant temptations; material, or not. I've been struggling with this lately- hard. That's the perfectionist in me- I want everything to be amazing. I want to take the best pictures, write the best stories, have the best career, raise the best family, look up to the best husband...I want my cooking to be delicious, my crafts to be precious, ok; the list goes on...

I know that as a woman of God though- my strength is constantly being tested. I often succumb to feelings of fear, worry, doubt, anger and jealousy. I get worried..."God, is THIS what you had planned for my life?" and then it starts a downward spiral of questioning.

I scroll through the most perfect blogs, look at people's perfect outfits, their fairytale marriages and relationships...Then I look at my messy hair, my make-up that got put on in my car on my way to work, and my relationships are...getting there.

I always, ALWAYS forget to just BE ME.

I know, we got this pounded into our heads as kids if we were lucky (which I was...encouraged to follow my dreams) But I get so consumed. With other people's perfect celebrations, their perfect hair, their perfect relationships, their perfect blog, their booming business, and then jealousy creeps up.......Awful.

Because I let other people define my self-worth.
 
I let people make me feel worthless. I let people make me feel like I don't deserve the truth. I let people make me feel like I am not worthy of loyalty. I let people make me feel depressed. I let people make me feel angry. I let people tell me who I am; and the WORST part of it....is that I usually believe it.

The key here....I LET PEOPLE.
ALL accountability lies within myself here.

Other people can only do to you what you ALLOW them to do. NOBODY chooses your actions, only yourself.

So to the eyes reading this right now- Do NOT let other people define WHO YOU ARE or HOW YOU ACT.

Ever.

Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. In Christ. &&that should be enough for true happiness.

It doesn't matter if your blog is not the cutest, most revolutionary thing on Earth. It doesn't matter if you're not married yet. It doesn't matter if you are in a struggling relationship. It doesn't matter if you burn dinner every once in a while. It doesn't matter if you don't wake up every morning to your dream job....etc!

What DOES matter- is that you are being YOU. Because God designed each and every one of us to have a significant and unique purpose; and that purpose can only be fulfilled by....well, YOU!

I've reached a point where I just have to LET GO. Stop trying to be perfect and envious; and remember to view myself how God sees me. How he MADE me. If other people choose to make me feel differently, then they don't deserve a part in my life. They deserve love...but not to bring me down repetitively.

And if you stop looking at everyone else's "perfect" (it never actually is) life, then you will slowly begin to see yourself in the image of God. How He intended you to be. Not jealous of anything else. Not feeling unworthy. Not feeling depressed.....But feeling empowered by the fact that you are PERFECT in His eyes. &&He has a plan for you bigger than you could ever imagine.

Life is pretty darn great....and in the times when you get envious of what others may have, remember to count your blessings
&&JUST. BE. YOURSELF.

All else will come.
Be still.

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah. 

Love Letter to the Broken-Hearted

Hurt just seems to be surrounding and consuming me lately. Every person I know is just drowning in sorrow; and as much as that sounds like a really catchy line in a song....It's true.

I look around and the faces are just… stolen. The nervous laughter of a mom going through divorce, the way it's forced to put up a wall so tall that no one can get in. The way nights turn into days from a father wanting to forget everything in his past. A sister hoping for true love to finally find the missing piece to her family of three. A brother trying to fulfill that empty void in his heart by strengthening his career. A prince trying to battle an all-consuming addiction. A little girl just wanting a kitty and her Daddy back at home to stay. And then there's me....

You see, I love- hard. I don't give people part of me, or half my heart. I’m not some façade of a girl, I’m real. What you see is what you get. I do wear my heart on my sleeve, every moment ((Who’s idea was that anyways, OUCH)) You could say I'm not your average twenty-one-year-old. But then again, what IS average anymore? I cry at the drop of a nickel.. I see the fear, the hurt in people's eyes. I want to just fix it all. Mend the broken hearts, be the light in the midst of a dark, dark world right now. I want to go to sleep at night knowing everyone I love most is just....happy.

You realize in times like these though, that family is really all that matters. Love conquers all. But sometimes love is the hardest thing you can do. Sometimes we are so filled with anger, so hurt, so upset; sometimes our blood is past boiling...and then you have to do it. You have to shove all that aside and be what people need.

You need to be the love that was given to us. Unconditional, forgiving love.

&&Sometimes, well, that’s nearly impossible. Just like controlling your dreams; not too many people I know have mastered “lucid-dreaming.” However, I know a person or two with night terrors.

Night terrors.

What a concept....

This bone-chilling, screaming with all the air in your lungs kind-of-feeling. The kind of nights where vivid imagery of your worst days just haunts you. It's like in King Kong where the gorilla snatches people up and they are just completely vulnerable. He could either crush them in his hands, or gently set them back down. Images like that replay in your mind until it's suffocating. No other thoughts are welcome..... For some comical relief here, yes...It's like being held in the daunting hands of a giant gorilla.
I know-TERRIBLE analogy. But you see my point! The constriction, the lack of control over your own body, the all-consuming nature.

Sometimes that’s love. That’s the deep, real, passionate love. To see every fault in someone else, and continue to love them.

&&this hurts.

A lot.

But I promise you, broken-hearted….

You will sleep again. You will love again. You will find the missing piece to your puzzle. You will gain that sense of accomplishment to fill the void. You will overcome your addiction.
This hurt will get better.

Everything you are going through is making you stronger. You are clay in His hands and he is forming you into the person you are meant to become. You may not see WHY you must endure this, but I promise you will later. This moment of hurt will be worth it.

You'll be able to dream again. You'll be able to love again.

With all my love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

Food for Thought...

Being tender and open is beautiful.

As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah.  

Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.

Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.

Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all—look around you.

 All of this is for you.

Take it and have gratitude.

Give it and feel love.

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

Thank You- for the amazing support!

Wow.

That's really what crossed my mind seeing this.

1,035 pageviews.

Simply incredible.

Thank you to each pair of eyes that has crossed this page! I know it hasn't been up and running very long, but whether you came across it by accident, picked up my business card, heard by word of mouth, or are a close friend or family member.... It means the world to me for you to be reading my blog.

However; I haven't heard from NEARLY as many of you as I had hoped! Don't forget to leave comments, message me, or post on my Facebook, Twitter, or Etsy site ((You can find direct links to do so at the bottom of each post, or on the right-hand side of my site))

Twitter:

@PhotoSoulSarah

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/PhotoSoulBoutique

Love to hear from each and every one of you! Add me today!

With love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

INDEPENDENCE1776- New Coupon Code!!!

Hey, I'm back! I know I've been gone for quite a bit.... Life has been so busy, we all know how that gets. So sorry for neglecting you! :( To make it up, I just put up a COUPON CODE for my Etsy Site. AND Promise to blog more about my life changes and art inspiration that have happened! Just visit my site- http://www.etsy.com/shop/PhotoSoulBoutique and during checkout enter in INDEPENDENCE1776 in the coupon code. You will receive $10 off any purchase! WOWZA!!!!
**Coupon Code is active immediately and lasts until July 8th, 2013. So don't wait to take advantage of this amazing offer!!

Enjoy this holiday in style with some fresh decor for your home.

Happy 4th of July....Almost!

With Love,
PhotoSoulBoutique.

No Rewinds

In this crazy thing called life, we have no “rewinds.” That means a birthday every YEAR. Some people worry about the wrinkles, the back pain, the loss of time, the memories that get further and further away, and the fear of the unknown after this un-rewind-able life. But here in this tiny world of mine, I celebrate birthdays! Birthdays celebrate life!! In these past couple months we have celebrated my dear Mom’s birthday, and my brother’s birthday!

Some great memories were in the making here……some of my favorites….

Audrey’s home-made cards. Complete with the spelling errors of a perfect child’s soul.

Home-made no-bake cookie- CAKE. ((Yes, that is a bunch of oatmeal, chocolate &&peanut butter cookies stacked up in the shape of a cake))

My Mom’s face light up as all the family arrives for her surprise birthday.

My Dad planning the entire surprise birthday without her knowing what was going on ((Bless his heart))

My brother having to blow out the candles on his cookie-cake twice because I didn’t capture it with my camera! L

((My bro knowing it’s important I get pictures, so he plays along sweet as can be)) Thanks Ant!

My Grandma always smiling, helping prepare && be the perfect host, and always, ALWAYS getting the best gifts.

My older sister always having a story that gives you belly-rolling laughter.

And last but not least…

Cake && Ice Cream.

Need I say more?!

I hope you celebrate your birthday this year, and all the rest to come.

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

8 Things You MAY Not Know!

1.      A mechanical #2 pencil and white computer paper is where most of my art starts.

2.      A Gondola ride is the closest I’ve been to riding in an airplane!

3.      I love. love. LOVE sweet tea.

4.      I have the best little sister in the entire universe. Check out this note she wrote me:

^^ Love you Lil' Audrey. XoxXOxoOXoxX

5.      I strongly dislike wearing tennis shoes.

6.      Baby animals make my heart melt. If I had the means, my house would most likely be considered a zoo!

7.      Honey is the most delicious snack (and surprisingly, packed full of health benefits)

8.      I love blogging & making art – of course!

With Love,
PhotoSoul Sarah

Quick drawing && short story! Enjoy!

Kamala's Hunger

In the midst of a blistering slum, Kamala pulls the threadbare sheet to the side. Her almond shaped, dark eyes gaze at the dust surrounding her. A frail cough is let out, and a small dog scurries across her hand and into the distance. “Mata?” the sun kissed child whispers. Her vision blurs as she looks across the waves of heat as far as she can see. “Mata, mata?” she frantically whispers a little louder this time. She looks down at her what-used-to-be teal sandals and her toes hang over the edge; she slips them off her cramped feet and holds them in her soft, fragile hands.

Kamala’s stomach is aching with hunger. She usually wakes up to her mother preparing her a couple spoonful’s of rice with bread hardened like a cracker. The hot air is oppressing and the girl’s hunger is prominent. She tacks the sheet back to the corner of the dilapidated doorframe, and moves swiftly as though someone is chasing her. She scurries into the middle of Dharavi; the slum glistens with vibrant clothes laid out next to the water and the smell of spices surrounds her. The pang of hunger in her stomach grows stronger. “Mata!”  Kamala’s pace grows faster and faster, her feet searing with pain from the hot rocks and sand beneath her. She holds her only sandals in her hand still, and carries on. “Mata! Mata! Mata!”

Her eyes grow increasingly aware as she rushes past the flocks of women tending to their families. She hears a voice and stops instantly; “Mata?” the frog in her throat mutters. Pure silence surrounds her, her frustration engulfs her emotions and boiling tears roll down her face. They slide through her dusty face and leave a trail to her chin. Her stomach rumbles to the beat of the wheelbarrows wooden wheels carrying supplies. “Mat…..” Her lips purse, her eyes widen, and her heartbeat seems to waver. A man in camouflage hovers above her, his sand-colored boots the size of her body grasp the earth with bold authority. She quivers with fear.

A moment in time passes and they both look at each other with fear; a clear language boundary. The sun beats down on the beads of sweat on his pale face, and the tears continue to flood down Kamala’s. He hesitates only to wipe his brow, but then reaches into his over-sized pocket and pulls out a bread-like biscuit. She gains tunnel-vision now, only seeing the food before her.

Her almond-shaped brown eyes look straight up, only to find this soldier gazing down at her with gentle eyes. His massive hand reaches down to give Kamala the bread. Their hands touch only for a second in time until a woman’s voice shatters the silent gesture, “KAMALA!”

Her fierce green eyes spin around and grab up her baby. “Kamala, you must never leave my side baby.”  And the camouflaged man disappears into the waves of heat on the horizon.

With love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

COUPON: ILOVEMYMOM429

It's not too late!

Did you already get your Mom a Mother's Day gift? IF NOT- I added a $10 OFF COUPON CODE until 5/19 for all those last minute && belated gifts! Simply go to http://www.etsy.com/shop/PhotoSoulBoutique and enter in ILOVEMYMOM429 during checkout to receive $10 off ANY purchase!!!

 

Take a look at some prints you could get her:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

Happy Friday-

And I quote,

"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life && love should not be one of them."

 

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah. 

http://www.etsy.com/shop/PhotoSoulBoutique

((Four. Point. Oh))

This quote stands out to me today, and I wanted to share..

"A river cuts through a rock; not because of its power, but its persistence."

I've learned (in my 21 years of life) that we have many small victories. We build upon these small victories until eventually we have this marvelous life unraveling before us. Taking a test, going to work, making dinner, changing diapers...All little things, that may seem like they don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but it is those that matter the most.

I am working on my degree in journalism. With high hopes of one day becoming a photo-journalist... Self-discipline and me are the best of friends lately. I am beginning to learn the balance between work &&fun. Learning where to draw the line for immediate benefits, and where to stop so I can have benefits later.

Sometimes we have to do what we don't want to do, so eventually, we can do what we want to do...

Okay, don't get me wrong here- I LOVE school. I don't HAVE to go to school. I love learning and scheduling new classes; it's something I am genuinely thrilled about in life- no matter what is happening. But do I sometimes frown on homework instead of a movie out? Of course. But then I remember the reward in the end, and the value of the education in itself. I have been working so hard this term, and my final grades have came in... ((Keep in mind here people, I am only getting my Associates at this point.. I work full-time. Go to school full-time, etc. So this, to me, is a huge feat))

Drum Roll Please.....

Four. Point. Ohhh.

&& I am thrilled.

My hope for you today is to strive past those tumultuous times to ultimately gain the end reward. Give those "LITTLE" goals your FULL focus- and in the end- You will have accomplished everything you hoped for...and more.

Persistence is key,

Remember that.

With love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.