Inside-Out

I wish I could tell every human just how absolutely beautiful and strong they are. I wish I could imprint young, impressionable minds to know this, too.

But I can't. 

I need your help. 

I need you to realize just how powerful the mind is. It's amazing, really. The power of positive thinking? It can create a whole new world. 

People grow up feeling horrible. They grow up feeling ugly, inadequate, fearful, insecure ... They grow up never knowing how powerful their mind is. How powerful they are. 

They think, "I won't go anywhere in life, why try?" They think, "Nobody will ever truly love me, I'm ugly." They think, "I'm failing. I can't turn this around." 

These are all lies. 

Lies that they (maybe you, too) have been conditioned to believe. 

The truth is, you're beautiful. You're worth the effort. You can make a difference in the world. Somebody already does love you. Failure is the first step to success. And finally, you CAN turn this mindset around. 

You are in control of your behavior and your actions. The first step is positive thinking. ((Yeah, yeah.. You've heard it before. This time, actually TRY it))

It's time to start repairing our bodies from the inside-out. To transition our minds from negative thinking, to uplifting, encouraging thoughts. From feeling miserable and horrible, to doing one thing a day to make you happy. Happiness does not just ARRIVE; you create your own happiness. 

When was the last time you ate cake and realized you just got a six pack afterwards? 

...never.

Me too. (I was disappointed too, don't worry.)

We can't expect to make bad decisions in life, and be happy. We have to WORK for happiness.... For our relationships, for our figures, for our talents, for our careers, for our money, for our faith. Our minds do not automatically default to hope and happiness, but we can change that. 

Today is the day to start. Don't wait for the new year for happiness to arrive. 

You're beautiful, and you're worth it. 

Time to start believing it. Time to put to rest all the excuses, all the doubts, all the procrastination. No more. Go out and be happy, know your value in life. 

Please share this with someone you know suffering with negative self-image. If that's you, I hope you begin to see your true worth and value in life. You're a miracle; time to start believing it! 

I'm still learning this. It's one of the reasons I can write about it. I'm still learning how to be confident and secure and happy. I'm still working on myself from the inside-out, and I hope you'll join me in this never-ending venture!

What is Love?

Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more.

What is love?!

Okay! Now that the soundtrack to this blog post is stuck in your head- let's continue!

 

I'm one of those hopeless romantics that truly believes love is what makes the world go round ((yeah, yeah... I get the gist, physicist.. angular momentum is a tiiiiny part of that too))

 

It's not something you can define, but something you feel. But as you know, I'm big on words...

 

Love fascinates me, intrigues me. It's not something you can define, but something you feel. But as you know, I'm big on words, so I thought- "What is love?" ((queue the soundtrack in your head again, you're welcome! ;))  Or rather, "How would you define love in words?" 

 

I asked a number of people to define love in 1-2 sentences, so without further adieu:  

 

 "Love is bacon."

Age 45

 

 "Love is being nice and kissing each other."

Age 8 

"Love is Blind, love is different in every relationship, love is what you make of it, when you are away from the person you're in a relationship with and your heart tingles that's love..

Love is when I'm too sick to wipe my own nose or ass!"

Age 42 

 

"Love is...what makes the world go round. It makes the ride worth it."

Age 26

"Selfless, vulnerable Love in the raw is terribly scandalous. It does not make logical sense... much like God Himself. They cannot be separated."

Age 22 

"If you love someone you will be or do anything for them....  What comes to mind is The Notebook, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

Age 32 

"Love is destructive beauty. It's eternal and never dies and could make or break you."

Age 17

"Love is inconsistent. It endures only through unconditional commitment."

Age 22

"The best and only definition of love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Age 23

"Love is unbreakable and spans all space and time. It is unbiased and the most powerful thing in existence. Love is infinite."

Age 22 

"This is from a website I read once, "Love is like pushing a button and getting a cookie every time, but eventually you only get a cookie one in every 100 pushes, the other 99 times you get pooped on by a bird, but you still push the button waiting for that one time you get a cookie."

Age 23

"Love is light, love is warmth and kindness, love is honesty and truth.  Love is capable, love is worth, love is never immediate.  Love will always be eternal."

Age 34 

"Love is the chemical reaction in our brains that triggers an emotional response with a physical action to show we care about someone or something."

Age 23 

"Love is an act of expression. 

It means nothing if you don't show it."

Age 33

"To me love is caring. It's being willing to go to the ends of the earth for someone else's well being.  Love is meeting in the middle,  and not always getting your way. It's respect. It's trust. It's friendship and family. It's listening with an open mind and heart,  and being a shoulder to cry on at 2am when needed. Without love the world would shatter in isolation."

Age 20 

"Love is being able to trust and depend on another person without reservation. I also think love is a warmth- a "spark" in my heart when I see the other person coming to be with me. Love means listening carefully to the other person."

Age 89 

 

How would YOU define love? Shoot me a message or leave a comment below! I always LOVE hearing from you! 

 

...man, I love LOVE.

How do YOU define love?

 

 

 

A Gentle Giant I call "Bro."

My brother. We used to be pretty distant, not really close at all actually. We would see each other at family functions and here and there send a text, but we drifted apart for quite some time. As kids, you fight to keep your siblings twenty feet away from you and your stuff at all times.... You take advantage of being in the same house together, eating together, and seeing each other every day after school and every weekend. And then you grow up. As adults, building relationships or keeping them alive can often end up a challenge in this busy world we live in.

Recently we have been talking and hanging out, and I have so much respect for him. Ashamedly, I can't say I always did. Not that I disrespected him, or disliked him, he just wasn't in my life to any capacity for me to form any sort of valid opinion. I knew I loved him and he was my brother; my family. But now, more than ever, I know the bond between a brother and sister can be one to fill many voids in a heart.

My brother is a gentle giant. No, legitimately- he hovers at 6'4" with a whopping shoe size of 14. He can palm a bowling ball like it's a piece of bubblegum.

Although he fulfills so many roles in my life right now, I also have to remember my role. To lift him up when he is down. To crack a smile when he is heartbroken. To pretend like I know what he is talking about when he speaks in a foreign language called "sports." To remind him that any girl would truly, truly be so lucky to have him in their life. To teach him the impact he has on me, my older sister, and my younger sister. To pay attention to his endless knowledge on tiny houses and cars. To read the books he recommends and open my eyes to the insight he has shown me. To laugh with him about stupid inside jokes. To give him a hard time and a kick in the ass when he is being lazy. To annoy him so his worst complaint is that I talk too much.

To just be there for him. Like he is for me.

You see, girls are always saying that "guys suck," and sometimes when I have hurt feelings I have felt the same way. But he has shown me, and reminded me, that not all guys suck. Some of them are great big brothers who any girl would be lucky to have. So remember that as you go through this crazy, hectic thing called life- Don't settle, bro. Know what you bring to the table, because I can see it from where I stand.

Through the years we may drift apart, but I will always cherish and look forward to the days we grow closer.

I love you big bro. I may not always say it, but thank you for being my brother.

Thanks for building tree forts with me. Thanks for ripping the heads off my barbies so I learned how to be crafty. Thanks for switching chores so I didn't have to empty the dishwasher. Thanks for going on hikes with me. Thanks for saying "a pack-pack and a kwof kwof" so every time I use a back pack or a wash cloth I giggle. Thanks for singing hickory dickory dock the mouse ran up the clock in a really epic way. Thanks for eating ten pounds of candy with me while we watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Thanks for giving me unbiased advice. Thanks for letting me vent. Thanks for giving me a dead leg when I least expect it so I get quicker reflexes. Thanks for all the memories we have had together so far, and all the memories we have left.

 

To everybody who has a brother, remember to never take them for granted. You may think you are total opposites, but you also may be completely wrong. Family is forever; build the relationships that will be there in the end.

The older I get, the more I see how blessed I am to call my family mine.

Even if relationships seem distant and severed, take a leap of faith and make a phone call. Who knows? Your best friend or family may be on the other end of the line waiting for you to come back in their life.

I Dare You To Try.

People always say live for the moments that you can't put into words.

I challenge you to find words for those moments. 

I dare you to take those speechless, powerful, life-changing moments and search for words. Describe the smile on your face, the sweet smell surrounding you, the way your heartbeat mimicked that of a hummingbird. I dare you to break out of the chains that hold you down in your weakest moments. To describe the way his knuckles went white and his grip suffocating.

Writing is healing. Writing is remembering. 

So for those moments you couldn't find words to describe your pure bliss, I dare you to try. It's a memory worth the books. When you find the right words for an experience like that, you've unlocked the power to relive that moment no matter where you are at, no matter how many years down the road. 

As for the moments you would rather push so deep inside you that they will never be able to escape; I dare you to let them. Sit down with your pen and just bleed. But only do this on one condition- promise once you are done you will leave it on that piece of paper. You will let that memory live on that page, forever. You won't bury it beneath every possible layer you can in your heart, you will unpack that memory from your heart and build it a new home on paper. 

Writing can hurt, or it can heal. It can make you laugh uncontrollably or it can make you weep. 

I challenge you to find words when words fail you. 

I dare you to remember your happiest moments,

and build a home on paper for your worst ones. 

 



When a Rut Becomes Home

I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. I am not sure whether I got pushed into it, slipped into it by accident, or just jumped right on in on my own accord; but I’m here. What I realized though, is this hole I am stuck in is not like other ruts I have been in. The noticeably dark, scary, and dingy pits I notice myself in and am clawing at the walls to get out is not at all like the pit I am in right now. This one is well-decorated and comfortable. Actually, it is so comfortable that I could call it home.

You see, if we find ourselves in a bad situation for long enough, it eventually becomes home to us. The dark, scary place it may have been at the beginning is no longer how you perceive it in your heart. You see this scary place now as a comfort zone. For you, this may be a relationship that you aren’t fulfilled in and you stay there because it’s what is comfortable. For others, it may be a job that you have stuck with for years on end because the pay was good and the risk didn’t seem worth it to change. If you stay in this rut for long enough, you end up decorating the walls, dusting the cobwebs away, and putting your feet up for a while.

We reason our way out of that gut feeling that tells us to change. We may want to prove everyone else wrong, we may not trust ourselves or any other advice, and we may be relying on that comfort ‘pit’ to provide us with a sense of worth. It depends on what kind of rut you are stuck in, and how you got there to begin. What matters now is that you realize this hole you are in has been disguised as a comfy place to hang your hat; but it’s not.

This kind of rut is the last kind you want to be in, because you can’t get out without work…..And we don’t want to do the hard work it takes to get out. It’s uncomfortable; extremely. Although that hole you fell in was uncomfortable getting in, it’s now become home, so getting out is terribly uncomfortable.

I’m writing this to tell you that you can know freedom. You can know peace. A few tips I have found useful in my ongoing journey to step outside my comfort zone are as follows:

1.      Commit to getting out of the rut you are in.

2.      Recommit to getting out on a daily basis, on a moment to moment basis if you have to.

3.      Push your boundaries. You will discover that things that once were natural for you have become challenging. If you are uncomfortable in the situation, evaluate why, and then proceed if it is due to wanting to only remain in your comfort zone.

4.      Know that the butterflies in your stomach are a sign of progress!

5.      Enjoy the challenge ahead. There is a huuuuuge difference in doing what we know we should be doing, and doing what we have a desire to do. In the end, you will always go back to doing what you ultimately WANT to do, so make sure your desires and your actions are aligned with one another.

Addictions become our comfort zones.

Toxic relationships become our comfort zones.

Dead-end jobs become our comfort zones.

Ruts come in all different shapes and sizes; some with Gucci hand bags and fancy sports cars as a disguise; know when and how to recognize a potential pit in your life. Just because something is comfortable, doesn’t mean you should decorate the walls and live there.

 

The Heart Broken Heal Broken Hearts

I woke up this morning and couldn't help but smell the faint smell of a campfire, or rather, a wild fire. It instantly reminded me of the two Colorado fires I have been witness to, the Waldo Canyon Fire and the Black Forest Fire. One of them I watched flicker down the mountainside from my place of work until I drove home in an overheating car, and the other burnt down my childhood home and the homes of friends and families that I've known since preschool. Both experiences have tested and challenged me along with everyone I know; we all had different experiences. I'm not sharing how the natural disaster 'went down' for me, though. The point is not how much tragedy those fires caused, but how much camaraderie.

 

I woke up to the smell of fire and instead of instantly shifting my thoughts towards the hurt and sadness hundreds and hundreds of people are still experiencing, I thought of when I went to Village Inn when the fire was still roaring across those pine tree filled fields. This breakfast being actually one of my sweeter, most cherished memories.

 Nothing spectacular happened. I didn't meet anyone famous, I still had to pay for my own breakfast, all the calories I ate still counted, and I still sat in the same booth I always do. The thing that made this nonchalant trip to breakfast so good was the people surrounding me.

It was an experience that I've never seen before, and it makes me sad today to think that the only time we experience this is when a tragedy happens. Everyone was so concerned, so caring; everyone would open the door for the next person, they would smile when you passed them, they would hold a conversation with you although they didn't know you. The waitresses and waiters were treated with respect and thanked for their food and service. Many people were paying for other people's breakfasts simply because they knew how hard of a time they were going through.

People went out of their way to show kindness, in so many beautiful ways.

 

 

 Now if you read my blog often, you know I never show emotion; ever. Okay.... Kidding! I'm one of the most emotional people you will probably ever come across ;) But this time, it wasn't just me who thought this was so touching. You could see everyone's spirits be uplifted. You could feel the "togetherness" that we all shared, sitting in the little Village Inn that we've memorized which booth and waitress we like best. This time was different, and it's never been the same since.

Why?

 Why is it that tragedy can bring a group of people so strongly together, and once tragedy is gone, we are back to minding our own, not smiling at others, not paying for people's meals 'just because,' etc.

What I realized is that when the natural disaster happened, people KNEW without a shadow of doubt that others were in need. We could assume that even if your house was not currently on fire, your state was and even many that you knew. The heartbroken were helping heal broken hearts. But why is any other day now different?

We may not all be experiencing the same tragedy, but I can guarantee we are ALL still experiencing tragedy.

 

 I dream of the day mundane things like breakfast at Village Inn become memories we cherish because of the kindness of people; of strangers. I dream of the day people show kindness, openness, genuine concern, and giving attitudes every day, because it is every day that tragedies happen individually.

The fires may be put out, and the homes may be being rebuilt, but that doesn't mean it's time to hang up our hats on showing kindness and becoming one community.

With Love,

PhotoSoulSarah

A Love Letter to my Little Sis

Dear sis,

"You don't judge me when I'm weird. You don't judge me when I'm sad."

 

               We’ve always had this unique relationship; half the time the waitress used to ask me if I would like a high chair and a kids menu thinking you were mine. I am 14 years older than you, but you still say we are twins. ((I haven’t broken the news to you yet, although I think you’re on to something)) Okay, we’re not twins. There it is. I’m 22 and you are 8. You’re the best little sister I can ever imagine though. And at times I will probably act more like a mom, and you will get mad, but that’s only because I care about you and your well-being. I’ve always thought it was my job to be a perfect role-model for you. To help you and teach you and show you how to navigate in this messy, unforgiving world we live in. Usually though, you’re the one who teaches me things. You show me the laughter and excitement about the world. The way practice and motivation really does make perfection. You’ve shown me how to love with no reservations. You’ve shown me how to be a role model. You’ve shown me how to make really awesome bracelets, and also how to reorganize a doll house. You’ve shown me patience and understanding. You don’t judge me when I’m weird. You don’t judge me when I’m sad. You’re blunt when I’m being mean, and it allows me to grow and change. You’re kind and generous and light up a room just by being you. You teach me how to ride a RipStick, and induct me into your RipStick club. You teach me the power of giving.

"You teach me the power of giving."

               There will come a time when you don’t feel so awesome though. When you feel like it’s not okay to be weird, when you feel like your body is just not right. When you feel like you need to change for a boy, or change for your so-called friends. And I’ll be right there next to you, telling you the same thing I am today. You’re so special and unique. You have a passion and fire for life that is going to take you wherever you want. You are so strong; stronger than you will ever know.  And when you don’t feel like it, just come over or call me, because I will always, no matter what, see you as a bright-eyed, happy, strong, perfect girl who deserves the world.

"You're bold and brave, strong and passionate."

               Your beauty flows from the inside out. You told me the other day that you were going to grow your hair out until you were my age (which in your eyes, probably like an eternity) and then donate it to people who don’t have any hair. You’re eight now and already have a heart for those who struggle and are forgotten. You have eyes that see people hurt and you help them, and comfort them. When I’m sad you comfort me, and when I’m happy you share my happiness.

               I hope that you never get too cool for me. I hope that whatever life throws at us, we never grow apart. I hope that when you’re in trouble you will call me, and I will bail you out of it. I hope that we share secrets always. I hope that your singing voice is shared with the world and your dancing will move people to their feet. I hope you find health and happiness in everything you do; but when you don’t, try to think of yourself through my eyes.

What can I say? You’re more important to people than you may ever realize. One day, we will be those two old crazy ladies doing the cup song in the park. We will sing with the windows open at stop lights, paint our nails to match each other, and wear ridiculous outfits just to cackle our heads off.

               I see you growing into this beautiful, spunky, energetic, loving little girl, and I am so proud to be your sister.

You really are something else.

               You’re bold and brave, strong and passionate. My number one fan, and my toughest critic. And with only 8 years down, I’d say we have a lot more adventures to go on together… I’ll never be able to teach you everything about life, I’m still learning myself, but I thought it would only be fair that I remind you how amazing you truly are in hopes you will never see yourself any differently as you get older.

All the love in the world,

Your big sis and best friend forever.

20 after Twenty

After twenty, you face the world a little bit alone. The things you learn actually stick, sometimes, and you learn on your own, not by being obedient and following direction. It’s this time in people’s lives where everyone’s lives look a little different…or, drastically different. Some people are leaving the nest and going off to college, some people are getting engaged or married, some people are having their second baby, some people are working full-time. But the Roaring Twenties have never felt better, because, well, you’re independent- and that means you can do anything your little heart desires! But in this journey of life, sometimes we stumble… into a great big mess or a little tiny fixer-upper; here’s twenty things I have learned after twenty!

Roaring Twenties

1. If you run out of dish detergent, you can't use dish soap. Your entire kitchen will be covered in bubbles in less than 30 minutes.

2. That whole cleaning and laundry thing..... Yeah it is a pain in the, you know, when you procrastinate and put it off. And no, your Mom won't rescue you and do it for you this time.

3. You will probably not know if you want kids right away; and that's okay. One moment you're thinking it is your sole purpose and the next you're booking tickets to Hawaii to get an adventure fix. Enjoy the 'here and now.' Children will happen in His time if it was meant to..... So stop counting down on your biological clock and enjoy life the way it is right now!

4. You won't ever be able to cook your mom/grandma/brother/aunt/sister/dad's (whoever the chef is in your family) favorite recipe. You will probably sharpen your skills at cooking, and it will even be delicious. But just stop trying that one recipe-- leave it for the pros. Create your own secret recipe that nobody else will be able to master!

5. Feeling like you have failed, bawling your eyes out thinking you took too many wrong turns to accomplish your dream now is a lie. It is never too late. So join an adult ballet class, start yoga being the least flexible person on the planet, or go write a book about your life. Go do what makes you come alive and stop worrying it's too late-- you're in your twenties for goodness sake! ;)

6. Celebrate holidays... Every holiday. No matter how big or small; celebrate. You're making memories here; invite family, friends, a stranger that needs a friend. Enjoy life's small reasons to celebrate.

7. Spend alone time with God. Period. No matter how you worship, praise, pray, journal, or do a bible study... Whatever way you connect with Him, make sure you fit in five minutes a day to do just that. Your heart will thank you.

8. If you procrastinate on a ten page paper until an hour before it is due, you may receive a bad grade, or worse, you may not learn anything at all from writing ten pages. Use education as a tool to learn, not just get an "A."

9. It's okay to hang out with your parents/ family. I know, confusing. It actually doesN'T make you uncool. It's uncool to put your family last behind alcohol, parties, disloyal friends, and t.r.o.u.b.l.e!

10. Stop confusing rejection with love. Rejection hurts, love heals. Cliché, I know, but true nonetheless.

11. If you text incessantly you will probably a. Have bad eyes b. get arthritis in your thumbs and c. Miss out on moments in life you will wish you gave your full attention....((Holla for unlimited texts, right?!)) ;)

12. Exercise, like, before it's too late and you have flabby arms when you wave ‘hi’ to people! ((Yuck!))

13. Don't take everything personally. Everything is not a reflection of you, sometimes it is other people expressing themselves and doesn’t have anything to do with you.

14. Vote.. Not just because you can, but because the choices you make today are going to build your tomorrow. Don't just fill out the bubbles.... Research. Fill yourself with knowledge and then apply yourself and determine how you want tomorrow to look. Vote. Even if politics are the last thing you want to be involved in.

15. Embrace your flaws. As hard as it may be, kicking yourself over your imperfections will only bring out bitterness.

16. Be on time. This one is a challenge for me. As my life is often an organized clutter. But it's respectful. Time is something you can never get back, never turn back, and never change. So try to honor other people's precious time by being somewhere when you said you would.

17. Expand your comfort zone.

18. Make art. Even if you are terrible. There will ALWAYS be someone better than you. Do it anyways. Art is made to build your soul, to express emotion, to make the world come alive with beauty.....

19. Stop comparing yourself to everyone and everything else. It will SERIOUSLY make you depressed and unhappy. Remember that everyone is in different seasons of their life; and that doesn’t mean you have to be right there with them!

20. Have a pet. A cat, a dog, a lizard... Fifty cats. You know, whatever floats your boat! Animals are just great. They teach you things humans can't. And based on experience, I've found them to be the most attentive listeners!

Lastly, remember that you're human. This tiiiiiiiny factor we often forget is that, humans aren't perfect. So you will probably forget these things. ^^^ Then relearn them. Some will be at the forefront of your mind, and others will fall to the wayside depending on the season of life you are in. Don't be too hard on yourself.... We still have to learn 30 after 30, so leave room for some mistakes to write about ;)

With Love,
PhotoSoul Sarah.

"We Have Decided to Eliminate Your Position."

“Regrettably, we have decided that CCi will eliminate your position and you will cease regular duties effective February 04, 2014.”

               --One sentence that hit a conference room full of people like a bullet; their minds and hearts instantly racing.

An event transpired yesterday that left every employee at Everest University Online with a sadness and soaring uncertainty; an event that we were all blindsided by. Being laid off is no laissez-faire occasion, though. It’s about economics. It’s a numbers game- is the company hitting goal: OR NOT. Unfortunately, I lost my Everest family because the answer to that question was the “or not,” portion. We spend 40 hours, often times more, with our coworkers every week. So to put a title on the people I worked with daily, “coworkers,” does not suffice. I would venture to say, “family,” is the appropriate term here.

               Each of our stories is unique. Each of us have brought strengths, weaknesses, a sense of humor, an inspiring quote, a helping hand, a smile in the hallway, and even a daily cartoon for some comic relief! I started working at Everest in September 2012, wide-eyed and excited. As the years passed, my Everest family has guided me through a rollercoaster of life events. From relationships, family health, college, how to do taxes, how to show up on time, how to have a solid work ethic, how to accept change and thrive, and how to just live. My family there has been there with me through all my struggles, and through all my joys. I have gotten advice that is priceless; I have made friendships for life.

And instead of being bitter, angry, hurt, and confused, I plan on using all that and running with it. I am laid off, but I am unbelievably grateful to have had the opportunity to work with such amazing individuals. To build me up, to tell me I am worthy, to remind me of my strength. Being laid off is hard. Being laid off means questioning how to pay my rent, how to get groceries, how to keep my cell phone on, how to put gas in the car, and where my next turn will be. How to take care of those around me……

But it does not define me.

Mike Jenkins once poured his heart out to us in the same conference room we got laid off. His words stuck with me. He said he used to play a mean game of basketball, by himself outside his barn. As we circled the room with what contributes to success, I jokingly said, “It takes a mean game of recruiting students.” And as that was a mere 5 second exchange, a lot can be found in those words. Our leaders didn’t start at the top. They started with a dream… His dream was fueled by prayers. He spoke of praying by his bedside and then finding clarity. Knowing that, “All is done.” He, along with many others, have had to make sacrifices to fuel the company from an economic standpoint. We may look at them as the enemy because they still have a career, they still have money to take care of THEIR families, and now we don’t. But as you go through the stages of loss, remember that they are going through the same. Seeing the tears in people’s eyes, seeing the pale faces and shaking the clammy hands- it is a loss for us all. As humans we tend to dissociate our leaders with emotions. They got ahead by not having emotions, they have it ‘in them’ to lay us off- that’s not true. Think about their heavy hearts as they go home tonight. Having to give the news to a room full of confused, angry, sad, scared people….. That’s a moment they will never forget.

               The point of my little tirade is this, this moment was awful for all parties involved. The leaders that delivered the news, the ‘survivors’ that watched us walk out the door, the families that are now uncertain of what comes next, and each and every one of us that is now in the race for another job- a way to provide. The reality of the situation hits hard when you have to face family, friends, and loved ones and tell them the news. Don’t let this define your worth, though.

Life is about health and happiness.

Yesterday, and the days to pass, are a challenge. We will face days all too often with tears in our eyes and struggles before us. Negative emotions are all-consuming, and loss of hope is a killer. But please do not get bogged down in the negative emotions that an event like that will inspire. Remember, you are worthy, you are talented, and above all- You are strong.

I can not WAIT to see all that everyone accomplishes.

You have made a difference in my life- and I know wherever this road takes you- you will make a difference in the lives of many, many others!!

All the possibilities now right in your fingertips. Like a phoenix, we will rise from the ashes!

Praying for each and every one of us involved. I am sure each one of us has, or still is, going through the motions- experiencing denial, anger, fear, feeling helpless, depression, and then acceptance. So in writing this, understand I am too. I am writing this to all involved, and myself.

Remember this-

We worked to change lives.

 It’s time to kick ass and take names- and go change YOUR life.

Oh and P.S. If you have never heard the soundtrack from the children’s movie, “Frozen,” called, “Let it Go,” please go do so now. Listen to this verse below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

It's funny how some distance,
Makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me,
Can't get to me at all.
It's time to see what I can do,
To test the limits and break through!!!...
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm free!

LET IT GO! Let it go!
Here I stand, and here I'll stay.
Let the storm rage on.
AND I'LL RISE LIKE THE BREAK OF DAWN

Jealousy.

It gets the best of us, doesn't it?

We live in this never-ending world filled with constant temptations; material, or not. I've been struggling with this lately- hard. That's the perfectionist in me- I want everything to be amazing. I want to take the best pictures, write the best stories, have the best career, raise the best family, look up to the best husband...I want my cooking to be delicious, my crafts to be precious, ok; the list goes on...

I know that as a woman of God though- my strength is constantly being tested. I often succumb to feelings of fear, worry, doubt, anger and jealousy. I get worried..."God, is THIS what you had planned for my life?" and then it starts a downward spiral of questioning.

I scroll through the most perfect blogs, look at people's perfect outfits, their fairytale marriages and relationships...Then I look at my messy hair, my make-up that got put on in my car on my way to work, and my relationships are...getting there.

I always, ALWAYS forget to just BE ME.

I know, we got this pounded into our heads as kids if we were lucky (which I was...encouraged to follow my dreams) But I get so consumed. With other people's perfect celebrations, their perfect hair, their perfect relationships, their perfect blog, their booming business, and then jealousy creeps up.......Awful.

Because I let other people define my self-worth.
 
I let people make me feel worthless. I let people make me feel like I don't deserve the truth. I let people make me feel like I am not worthy of loyalty. I let people make me feel depressed. I let people make me feel angry. I let people tell me who I am; and the WORST part of it....is that I usually believe it.

The key here....I LET PEOPLE.
ALL accountability lies within myself here.

Other people can only do to you what you ALLOW them to do. NOBODY chooses your actions, only yourself.

So to the eyes reading this right now- Do NOT let other people define WHO YOU ARE or HOW YOU ACT.

Ever.

Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. In Christ. &&that should be enough for true happiness.

It doesn't matter if your blog is not the cutest, most revolutionary thing on Earth. It doesn't matter if you're not married yet. It doesn't matter if you are in a struggling relationship. It doesn't matter if you burn dinner every once in a while. It doesn't matter if you don't wake up every morning to your dream job....etc!

What DOES matter- is that you are being YOU. Because God designed each and every one of us to have a significant and unique purpose; and that purpose can only be fulfilled by....well, YOU!

I've reached a point where I just have to LET GO. Stop trying to be perfect and envious; and remember to view myself how God sees me. How he MADE me. If other people choose to make me feel differently, then they don't deserve a part in my life. They deserve love...but not to bring me down repetitively.

And if you stop looking at everyone else's "perfect" (it never actually is) life, then you will slowly begin to see yourself in the image of God. How He intended you to be. Not jealous of anything else. Not feeling unworthy. Not feeling depressed.....But feeling empowered by the fact that you are PERFECT in His eyes. &&He has a plan for you bigger than you could ever imagine.

Life is pretty darn great....and in the times when you get envious of what others may have, remember to count your blessings
&&JUST. BE. YOURSELF.

All else will come.
Be still.

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah. 

Love Letter to the Broken-Hearted

Hurt just seems to be surrounding and consuming me lately. Every person I know is just drowning in sorrow; and as much as that sounds like a really catchy line in a song....It's true.

I look around and the faces are just… stolen. The nervous laughter of a mom going through divorce, the way it's forced to put up a wall so tall that no one can get in. The way nights turn into days from a father wanting to forget everything in his past. A sister hoping for true love to finally find the missing piece to her family of three. A brother trying to fulfill that empty void in his heart by strengthening his career. A prince trying to battle an all-consuming addiction. A little girl just wanting a kitty and her Daddy back at home to stay. And then there's me....

You see, I love- hard. I don't give people part of me, or half my heart. I’m not some façade of a girl, I’m real. What you see is what you get. I do wear my heart on my sleeve, every moment ((Who’s idea was that anyways, OUCH)) You could say I'm not your average twenty-one-year-old. But then again, what IS average anymore? I cry at the drop of a nickel.. I see the fear, the hurt in people's eyes. I want to just fix it all. Mend the broken hearts, be the light in the midst of a dark, dark world right now. I want to go to sleep at night knowing everyone I love most is just....happy.

You realize in times like these though, that family is really all that matters. Love conquers all. But sometimes love is the hardest thing you can do. Sometimes we are so filled with anger, so hurt, so upset; sometimes our blood is past boiling...and then you have to do it. You have to shove all that aside and be what people need.

You need to be the love that was given to us. Unconditional, forgiving love.

&&Sometimes, well, that’s nearly impossible. Just like controlling your dreams; not too many people I know have mastered “lucid-dreaming.” However, I know a person or two with night terrors.

Night terrors.

What a concept....

This bone-chilling, screaming with all the air in your lungs kind-of-feeling. The kind of nights where vivid imagery of your worst days just haunts you. It's like in King Kong where the gorilla snatches people up and they are just completely vulnerable. He could either crush them in his hands, or gently set them back down. Images like that replay in your mind until it's suffocating. No other thoughts are welcome..... For some comical relief here, yes...It's like being held in the daunting hands of a giant gorilla.
I know-TERRIBLE analogy. But you see my point! The constriction, the lack of control over your own body, the all-consuming nature.

Sometimes that’s love. That’s the deep, real, passionate love. To see every fault in someone else, and continue to love them.

&&this hurts.

A lot.

But I promise you, broken-hearted….

You will sleep again. You will love again. You will find the missing piece to your puzzle. You will gain that sense of accomplishment to fill the void. You will overcome your addiction.
This hurt will get better.

Everything you are going through is making you stronger. You are clay in His hands and he is forming you into the person you are meant to become. You may not see WHY you must endure this, but I promise you will later. This moment of hurt will be worth it.

You'll be able to dream again. You'll be able to love again.

With all my love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.