Inside-Out

I wish I could tell every human just how absolutely beautiful and strong they are. I wish I could imprint young, impressionable minds to know this, too.

But I can't. 

I need your help. 

I need you to realize just how powerful the mind is. It's amazing, really. The power of positive thinking? It can create a whole new world. 

People grow up feeling horrible. They grow up feeling ugly, inadequate, fearful, insecure ... They grow up never knowing how powerful their mind is. How powerful they are. 

They think, "I won't go anywhere in life, why try?" They think, "Nobody will ever truly love me, I'm ugly." They think, "I'm failing. I can't turn this around." 

These are all lies. 

Lies that they (maybe you, too) have been conditioned to believe. 

The truth is, you're beautiful. You're worth the effort. You can make a difference in the world. Somebody already does love you. Failure is the first step to success. And finally, you CAN turn this mindset around. 

You are in control of your behavior and your actions. The first step is positive thinking. ((Yeah, yeah.. You've heard it before. This time, actually TRY it))

It's time to start repairing our bodies from the inside-out. To transition our minds from negative thinking, to uplifting, encouraging thoughts. From feeling miserable and horrible, to doing one thing a day to make you happy. Happiness does not just ARRIVE; you create your own happiness. 

When was the last time you ate cake and realized you just got a six pack afterwards? 

...never.

Me too. (I was disappointed too, don't worry.)

We can't expect to make bad decisions in life, and be happy. We have to WORK for happiness.... For our relationships, for our figures, for our talents, for our careers, for our money, for our faith. Our minds do not automatically default to hope and happiness, but we can change that. 

Today is the day to start. Don't wait for the new year for happiness to arrive. 

You're beautiful, and you're worth it. 

Time to start believing it. Time to put to rest all the excuses, all the doubts, all the procrastination. No more. Go out and be happy, know your value in life. 

Please share this with someone you know suffering with negative self-image. If that's you, I hope you begin to see your true worth and value in life. You're a miracle; time to start believing it! 

I'm still learning this. It's one of the reasons I can write about it. I'm still learning how to be confident and secure and happy. I'm still working on myself from the inside-out, and I hope you'll join me in this never-ending venture!

Shades of Gray

I've grown very intimate with this little thing in life called, "emotions;" whether I want to or not. So much so that many nights I have lied awake praying for an OFF button so I could just get five minutes of peace from my own brain. 

When we are going through a heartbreak or a particularly difficult point in our lives, sometimes our emotions become confusing. I found myself at one point Google-ING mental health disorders and checking boxes to self-diagnose myself with some disease because, well, because I was feeling. Turns out, nothing is wrong with feeling and it is actually not a disorder, as much as the world tries to make us robots in the feelings department. I am not psychotic and I don't own fifty cats, yeah, baby kittens sure are cute, but it's just not my thing. But you know what IS my thing? Experiencing emotions as they come, and knowing that is okay. Sometimes life will bring me regret, sadness, pain, happiness, excitement, and sorrow... But to experience each one, I don't think you can leave out any. 

When I love, I love hard. When I laugh, my abs hurt. I've never really known an in-between and I've been told my whole life that this is some sort of fault; and quite frankly, I don't dig that. I think I was made in His image and there is a reason that I may FEEL differently than YOU feel. Or maybe you're sitting there reading this thinking, "Gosh I am so glad I'm not the only one." ((p.s. You're not the only one. I've met other people with a soul like mine)) 

I may not be able to coast in life. I may not be able to just be okay and fake a smile. I may not be able to hide my feelings. 

I do sometimes wear my heart on my sleeves, or rather, on my entire body and every article of clothing I own. I do sometimes cry at the most inopportune times. I do sometimes gawk at the yellow stop light because of how absolutely beautiful that shade is against the turning leaves of fall. ((I'm serious on that one. Autumn turns the most mundane things into gems; no kidding I sat at a yellow light in awe at how perfect the shade is against the fall leaves, check it out next time you hit the road)) 

I don't let everybody else dictate what I can and cannot feel. When I can feel. How I can feel. What I should feel. What is right or wrong to feel at what specific times. I let my heart, my mind, my experiences, and my faith dictate that. And it has taken me so long to get to this point where I am okay not letting anybody else tell me that; and being myself. I am at a point where I don't feel weak for having this plethora of emotions, but I feel strong for experiencing this and telling the world who I am, before it tells me first. 

So I guess what it all boils down to, is I don't know what gray is. I never did, and I hope one day, you too can experience the ferocity of human emotions without fear of holding back. 

Today just let yourself feel, and know that God gave you your unique personality and emotions to face the world with, and better yet, to shape the world with. He didn't make us all different so we could try so hard to be like one another!

Gray is over-rated. 

What is Love?

Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more.

What is love?!

Okay! Now that the soundtrack to this blog post is stuck in your head- let's continue!

 

I'm one of those hopeless romantics that truly believes love is what makes the world go round ((yeah, yeah... I get the gist, physicist.. angular momentum is a tiiiiny part of that too))

 

It's not something you can define, but something you feel. But as you know, I'm big on words...

 

Love fascinates me, intrigues me. It's not something you can define, but something you feel. But as you know, I'm big on words, so I thought- "What is love?" ((queue the soundtrack in your head again, you're welcome! ;))  Or rather, "How would you define love in words?" 

 

I asked a number of people to define love in 1-2 sentences, so without further adieu:  

 

 "Love is bacon."

Age 45

 

 "Love is being nice and kissing each other."

Age 8 

"Love is Blind, love is different in every relationship, love is what you make of it, when you are away from the person you're in a relationship with and your heart tingles that's love..

Love is when I'm too sick to wipe my own nose or ass!"

Age 42 

 

"Love is...what makes the world go round. It makes the ride worth it."

Age 26

"Selfless, vulnerable Love in the raw is terribly scandalous. It does not make logical sense... much like God Himself. They cannot be separated."

Age 22 

"If you love someone you will be or do anything for them....  What comes to mind is The Notebook, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

Age 32 

"Love is destructive beauty. It's eternal and never dies and could make or break you."

Age 17

"Love is inconsistent. It endures only through unconditional commitment."

Age 22

"The best and only definition of love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Age 23

"Love is unbreakable and spans all space and time. It is unbiased and the most powerful thing in existence. Love is infinite."

Age 22 

"This is from a website I read once, "Love is like pushing a button and getting a cookie every time, but eventually you only get a cookie one in every 100 pushes, the other 99 times you get pooped on by a bird, but you still push the button waiting for that one time you get a cookie."

Age 23

"Love is light, love is warmth and kindness, love is honesty and truth.  Love is capable, love is worth, love is never immediate.  Love will always be eternal."

Age 34 

"Love is the chemical reaction in our brains that triggers an emotional response with a physical action to show we care about someone or something."

Age 23 

"Love is an act of expression. 

It means nothing if you don't show it."

Age 33

"To me love is caring. It's being willing to go to the ends of the earth for someone else's well being.  Love is meeting in the middle,  and not always getting your way. It's respect. It's trust. It's friendship and family. It's listening with an open mind and heart,  and being a shoulder to cry on at 2am when needed. Without love the world would shatter in isolation."

Age 20 

"Love is being able to trust and depend on another person without reservation. I also think love is a warmth- a "spark" in my heart when I see the other person coming to be with me. Love means listening carefully to the other person."

Age 89 

 

How would YOU define love? Shoot me a message or leave a comment below! I always LOVE hearing from you! 

 

...man, I love LOVE.

How do YOU define love?

 

 

 

I Dare You To Try.

People always say live for the moments that you can't put into words.

I challenge you to find words for those moments. 

I dare you to take those speechless, powerful, life-changing moments and search for words. Describe the smile on your face, the sweet smell surrounding you, the way your heartbeat mimicked that of a hummingbird. I dare you to break out of the chains that hold you down in your weakest moments. To describe the way his knuckles went white and his grip suffocating.

Writing is healing. Writing is remembering. 

So for those moments you couldn't find words to describe your pure bliss, I dare you to try. It's a memory worth the books. When you find the right words for an experience like that, you've unlocked the power to relive that moment no matter where you are at, no matter how many years down the road. 

As for the moments you would rather push so deep inside you that they will never be able to escape; I dare you to let them. Sit down with your pen and just bleed. But only do this on one condition- promise once you are done you will leave it on that piece of paper. You will let that memory live on that page, forever. You won't bury it beneath every possible layer you can in your heart, you will unpack that memory from your heart and build it a new home on paper. 

Writing can hurt, or it can heal. It can make you laugh uncontrollably or it can make you weep. 

I challenge you to find words when words fail you. 

I dare you to remember your happiest moments,

and build a home on paper for your worst ones. 

 



When a Rut Becomes Home

I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. I am not sure whether I got pushed into it, slipped into it by accident, or just jumped right on in on my own accord; but I’m here. What I realized though, is this hole I am stuck in is not like other ruts I have been in. The noticeably dark, scary, and dingy pits I notice myself in and am clawing at the walls to get out is not at all like the pit I am in right now. This one is well-decorated and comfortable. Actually, it is so comfortable that I could call it home.

You see, if we find ourselves in a bad situation for long enough, it eventually becomes home to us. The dark, scary place it may have been at the beginning is no longer how you perceive it in your heart. You see this scary place now as a comfort zone. For you, this may be a relationship that you aren’t fulfilled in and you stay there because it’s what is comfortable. For others, it may be a job that you have stuck with for years on end because the pay was good and the risk didn’t seem worth it to change. If you stay in this rut for long enough, you end up decorating the walls, dusting the cobwebs away, and putting your feet up for a while.

We reason our way out of that gut feeling that tells us to change. We may want to prove everyone else wrong, we may not trust ourselves or any other advice, and we may be relying on that comfort ‘pit’ to provide us with a sense of worth. It depends on what kind of rut you are stuck in, and how you got there to begin. What matters now is that you realize this hole you are in has been disguised as a comfy place to hang your hat; but it’s not.

This kind of rut is the last kind you want to be in, because you can’t get out without work…..And we don’t want to do the hard work it takes to get out. It’s uncomfortable; extremely. Although that hole you fell in was uncomfortable getting in, it’s now become home, so getting out is terribly uncomfortable.

I’m writing this to tell you that you can know freedom. You can know peace. A few tips I have found useful in my ongoing journey to step outside my comfort zone are as follows:

1.      Commit to getting out of the rut you are in.

2.      Recommit to getting out on a daily basis, on a moment to moment basis if you have to.

3.      Push your boundaries. You will discover that things that once were natural for you have become challenging. If you are uncomfortable in the situation, evaluate why, and then proceed if it is due to wanting to only remain in your comfort zone.

4.      Know that the butterflies in your stomach are a sign of progress!

5.      Enjoy the challenge ahead. There is a huuuuuge difference in doing what we know we should be doing, and doing what we have a desire to do. In the end, you will always go back to doing what you ultimately WANT to do, so make sure your desires and your actions are aligned with one another.

Addictions become our comfort zones.

Toxic relationships become our comfort zones.

Dead-end jobs become our comfort zones.

Ruts come in all different shapes and sizes; some with Gucci hand bags and fancy sports cars as a disguise; know when and how to recognize a potential pit in your life. Just because something is comfortable, doesn’t mean you should decorate the walls and live there.