Everything Is True On The Internet

...Or people act like it! 

We come across advice on blogs or in our FaceBook feed and we take it. It seems that whatever social media can shove down our throats is how we end up acting. I encourage you, no I command you ((guys, I'm the Queen of this internet space, get over it!)) to research and think about and discuss what I tell you on my blog. Some of my advice is not going to be right for you, or anybody but myself, so I'm not bashing all other blogs and promoting mine here- I'm just as guilty of feeding people advice they may take to heart! 

A big trend right now are the classic, "What You Should Know By Your 30's" "Things I No Longer Care About At 25" "Life Lessons I've Learned In College" "Lessons I've Learned in Divorce" ....okay, get the gist, physicist?! One thing I keep wandering across in ALL of these articles is the notion that as you get older you are supposed to stop caring about what other people think. 

Stop. You don't. You still care (I hope you care) and if you don't, I would ask that you reconsider! 

Let me pause here for a moment and say there is a HUGE difference between 'caring' what other people think, and 'letting what other people think dictate your own life.' There is a difference in always needing to be a people pleaser, and simply caring what other people think. I'm asking not that you become obsessed with the need to please all those around you, but that you consider what other people think. Maybe if we had people in the world that cared about what others thought, we'd be much better off?? 

This whole 'don't care what anyone has to say' movement is a bummer! 

Care. 

Care that people perceive you as a caring, compassionate, kind, considerate, helpful person. Care that people look to you for advice. Care that you are a role model even if you don't know it. Care that your actions and decisions affect other people. 

It is not uncool to care.

So next time you come across this, which you will in about point five seconds if you're browsing the internet, stop and care about people and things and causes; it's okay. And while you're at it, let your friends know it's cool to care too! 

A Gentle Giant I call "Bro."

My brother. We used to be pretty distant, not really close at all actually. We would see each other at family functions and here and there send a text, but we drifted apart for quite some time. As kids, you fight to keep your siblings twenty feet away from you and your stuff at all times.... You take advantage of being in the same house together, eating together, and seeing each other every day after school and every weekend. And then you grow up. As adults, building relationships or keeping them alive can often end up a challenge in this busy world we live in.

Recently we have been talking and hanging out, and I have so much respect for him. Ashamedly, I can't say I always did. Not that I disrespected him, or disliked him, he just wasn't in my life to any capacity for me to form any sort of valid opinion. I knew I loved him and he was my brother; my family. But now, more than ever, I know the bond between a brother and sister can be one to fill many voids in a heart.

My brother is a gentle giant. No, legitimately- he hovers at 6'4" with a whopping shoe size of 14. He can palm a bowling ball like it's a piece of bubblegum.

Although he fulfills so many roles in my life right now, I also have to remember my role. To lift him up when he is down. To crack a smile when he is heartbroken. To pretend like I know what he is talking about when he speaks in a foreign language called "sports." To remind him that any girl would truly, truly be so lucky to have him in their life. To teach him the impact he has on me, my older sister, and my younger sister. To pay attention to his endless knowledge on tiny houses and cars. To read the books he recommends and open my eyes to the insight he has shown me. To laugh with him about stupid inside jokes. To give him a hard time and a kick in the ass when he is being lazy. To annoy him so his worst complaint is that I talk too much.

To just be there for him. Like he is for me.

You see, girls are always saying that "guys suck," and sometimes when I have hurt feelings I have felt the same way. But he has shown me, and reminded me, that not all guys suck. Some of them are great big brothers who any girl would be lucky to have. So remember that as you go through this crazy, hectic thing called life- Don't settle, bro. Know what you bring to the table, because I can see it from where I stand.

Through the years we may drift apart, but I will always cherish and look forward to the days we grow closer.

I love you big bro. I may not always say it, but thank you for being my brother.

Thanks for building tree forts with me. Thanks for ripping the heads off my barbies so I learned how to be crafty. Thanks for switching chores so I didn't have to empty the dishwasher. Thanks for going on hikes with me. Thanks for saying "a pack-pack and a kwof kwof" so every time I use a back pack or a wash cloth I giggle. Thanks for singing hickory dickory dock the mouse ran up the clock in a really epic way. Thanks for eating ten pounds of candy with me while we watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Thanks for giving me unbiased advice. Thanks for letting me vent. Thanks for giving me a dead leg when I least expect it so I get quicker reflexes. Thanks for all the memories we have had together so far, and all the memories we have left.

 

To everybody who has a brother, remember to never take them for granted. You may think you are total opposites, but you also may be completely wrong. Family is forever; build the relationships that will be there in the end.

The older I get, the more I see how blessed I am to call my family mine.

Even if relationships seem distant and severed, take a leap of faith and make a phone call. Who knows? Your best friend or family may be on the other end of the line waiting for you to come back in their life.

I Dare You To Try.

People always say live for the moments that you can't put into words.

I challenge you to find words for those moments. 

I dare you to take those speechless, powerful, life-changing moments and search for words. Describe the smile on your face, the sweet smell surrounding you, the way your heartbeat mimicked that of a hummingbird. I dare you to break out of the chains that hold you down in your weakest moments. To describe the way his knuckles went white and his grip suffocating.

Writing is healing. Writing is remembering. 

So for those moments you couldn't find words to describe your pure bliss, I dare you to try. It's a memory worth the books. When you find the right words for an experience like that, you've unlocked the power to relive that moment no matter where you are at, no matter how many years down the road. 

As for the moments you would rather push so deep inside you that they will never be able to escape; I dare you to let them. Sit down with your pen and just bleed. But only do this on one condition- promise once you are done you will leave it on that piece of paper. You will let that memory live on that page, forever. You won't bury it beneath every possible layer you can in your heart, you will unpack that memory from your heart and build it a new home on paper. 

Writing can hurt, or it can heal. It can make you laugh uncontrollably or it can make you weep. 

I challenge you to find words when words fail you. 

I dare you to remember your happiest moments,

and build a home on paper for your worst ones. 

 



Things the World Seriously Needs More Of

Blinkers. People who know how to use blinkers. People who use blinkers. People who know what a blinker means. People who respect blinkers. Can I get an amen?! 

 

Free ice cream after meals. This may be a dangerous move, but anything worth having is worth the risk. (I think that quote applies to ice cream, right?!) 

 

Forgiveness. 

 

Shark Week on Animal Planet.

 

Healthy snacks that are cheaper than a Big Mac... Or McDouble. 

 

People who speak more than one language. 

 

Smiles. 

 

Hand-holding.

 

Machines that get you ready in the morning while you sleep in. 

 

Honest people. Who tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God! 

 

Websites like, "The Onion," that help you decipher fact from fiction.....and play really cruel jokes on people who have no idea the basis of the site. 

 

Selfies.

^^SIKE! We have enough of those that probably shouldn't exist in the world. 

 

Giving people. Selfless people. 

 

Drama between celebrities. 

^^NOPE don't need that either. 

 

Love. Romance. Intimacy. Love notes. Date nights. Pickin' up what I'm layin' down? Smell what I'm steppin' in? ((Ew. Who uses that line in real life?! Please shake your head no.))

 

People who are currently living their dreams. As Aesop Rock so eloquently puts it, "You can dream a little dream or you can live a little dream. I'd rather live it; cause dreamers always chase but never get it." 

 

Math with letters in it............Joke.

 

Bars for people to get schwasted and make poor life decisions.

^^Oh wait. One on every block--Check! 

 

Affordable education systems. Free education systems. 

 

Environmentally-safe paper (or some Eco-friendly material) plates; so I can refuse to do dishes and not feel a twinge of guilt. 

 

Photos. Images. Cameras. Pictures. 

 

People who understand sarcasm, and can respond to it without being offended. 

 

Genuinely nice people. Who are nice to be nice, not to get something in return.

 

Open-minds.

 

Starbucks. 

^^Because two on every block is simply not enough. 

 

And while we are at it, I'm going to jump on the beauty pageant train and say-- world peace. 

The world needs to know peace.

 

 

With Concern,

Sarah.

 

 

When a Rut Becomes Home

I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. I am not sure whether I got pushed into it, slipped into it by accident, or just jumped right on in on my own accord; but I’m here. What I realized though, is this hole I am stuck in is not like other ruts I have been in. The noticeably dark, scary, and dingy pits I notice myself in and am clawing at the walls to get out is not at all like the pit I am in right now. This one is well-decorated and comfortable. Actually, it is so comfortable that I could call it home.

You see, if we find ourselves in a bad situation for long enough, it eventually becomes home to us. The dark, scary place it may have been at the beginning is no longer how you perceive it in your heart. You see this scary place now as a comfort zone. For you, this may be a relationship that you aren’t fulfilled in and you stay there because it’s what is comfortable. For others, it may be a job that you have stuck with for years on end because the pay was good and the risk didn’t seem worth it to change. If you stay in this rut for long enough, you end up decorating the walls, dusting the cobwebs away, and putting your feet up for a while.

We reason our way out of that gut feeling that tells us to change. We may want to prove everyone else wrong, we may not trust ourselves or any other advice, and we may be relying on that comfort ‘pit’ to provide us with a sense of worth. It depends on what kind of rut you are stuck in, and how you got there to begin. What matters now is that you realize this hole you are in has been disguised as a comfy place to hang your hat; but it’s not.

This kind of rut is the last kind you want to be in, because you can’t get out without work…..And we don’t want to do the hard work it takes to get out. It’s uncomfortable; extremely. Although that hole you fell in was uncomfortable getting in, it’s now become home, so getting out is terribly uncomfortable.

I’m writing this to tell you that you can know freedom. You can know peace. A few tips I have found useful in my ongoing journey to step outside my comfort zone are as follows:

1.      Commit to getting out of the rut you are in.

2.      Recommit to getting out on a daily basis, on a moment to moment basis if you have to.

3.      Push your boundaries. You will discover that things that once were natural for you have become challenging. If you are uncomfortable in the situation, evaluate why, and then proceed if it is due to wanting to only remain in your comfort zone.

4.      Know that the butterflies in your stomach are a sign of progress!

5.      Enjoy the challenge ahead. There is a huuuuuge difference in doing what we know we should be doing, and doing what we have a desire to do. In the end, you will always go back to doing what you ultimately WANT to do, so make sure your desires and your actions are aligned with one another.

Addictions become our comfort zones.

Toxic relationships become our comfort zones.

Dead-end jobs become our comfort zones.

Ruts come in all different shapes and sizes; some with Gucci hand bags and fancy sports cars as a disguise; know when and how to recognize a potential pit in your life. Just because something is comfortable, doesn’t mean you should decorate the walls and live there.

 

52 words in no particular order

...that I should say more on a daily basis

Forgive

Happy

Love

Spectacular

Joy

Adventure

Pray

Family

Exercise

Friend

Sunshine

Patience

Smile

Fresh

Stunning

Immaculate

New 

Beautiful

Give

Fun

Win

Invite

Work

Try

Stellar

Dance

Generous

Compliment

Dashing

Handsome

Succeed

Excited

Music

Silly

Help

Walk

Smart

Sing

Rest

Warmth 

Plant

Desire

Kind

Prestige

Focus

Motivate

Travel

Laugh

Hold

Fly

Value

Grow

With Love. 

Rate and Date

Why are we doing all this 'rate and date' stuff shit? Yes, it's shit. ((geez, I hate cussing.))

...okay I'm back from washing my mouth out with soap...

I've watched so many tiny girls post YouTube videos rating guys from 1-10, tagging them in a post, and giving one thing that they have to tell the truth about. I've watched guys do it too... A lot of guys.

Looks a little like this:
SPOILER ALERT: Reading this entire post may cause you to lower your IQ, or question the IQ of others. This happens in real life my friends. Soak it in.

Initial Post:
"LMS for a rate and tbh"
Response back:
Rate-9
date- nawww
Crush- maybeee
tbh- I told my friends we were dating when we were just talking because I thought you were cute

Where do I start?

• Should I talk about how demeaning it is to RATE somebody on a scale of 1-10?
• Should I talk about how shallow it is?
• Should I talk about how tacky it is?

Because it is all of those....Demeaning, shallow, and tacky.

It takes twelve seconds to formulate your entire opinion of someone in your mind when first meeting them. That being said, we are naturally, and easily, extremely judgmental people. A trait that once kept us safe from harm and life-threatening situations has now transpired into a full-fledged game of indirect bullying. You may think it is cute, flirty, and gets you attention. One of these things you would be correct, it certainly gets you attention; the wrong kind of attention, but attention nonetheless. If you are able to tag & rate 30 different guys/girls, you most likely don't have any real depth to any ONE of those relationships. So yes, you do get a few seconds when you cross someone's mind so they can join in on this game, but in the end, someone who is willing to put any NUMBER as your VALUE in their LIFE is not a friend you want to stick around for long, or start a relationship with.

Second, if someone rates you anywhere below a perfect ten, you get hurt feelings. Womp womp woooomp. You are officially cyber-bullying and/or BEING cyber-bullied. 

Also, starting conversations with the word "Confession" plastered in front is unnecessary. If you have to advertise that you are about to be honest for about five seconds and say what's truly on your mind, I worry about what the rest of your words encompass.  How about being honest and 'confessing' what is truly on your mind all of the time and see where it gets you....

"Confession: I think you're really fun to talk to."

No. Why do you even have to preface that with a big bold CONFESSION right in front?

Try talking with intention, or better yet, dating with intention.

"You're really fun to talk to, I'd like to take you out to dinner sometime, just get to know you a little better?"

Why is society telling us constantly it's not okay to know WHAT we want, and if we do, we are supposed to follow all these little dating rules. Stop with the pick up lines. Stop with the "confession alert" right before you say something sincere, stop rating and tagging thirty guys/girls in a post to get some attention.

Build some real relationships that will last. {{I mean yes, the video you just put on the internet will last... Forever, because again, you put it on the internet, but that's not the forever I'm talking about}}

I know I sound like a grandma that grew up walking uphill both ways to and from school carrying a cello in one hand and a bag full of books in the other, but I'm actually just a regular girl who's 22 and tired of seeing this onslaught of posts in my feed from people who are MUCH too old to be worrying about a 'rate and date' number and secret confessions. (Which to me, anywhere past middle school and it is WAY past time to move on from this) Time to focus on what's important... You know, the new Marvel movie "Guardians of the Galaxy" coming out! .... Okay kidding about the movie ((I'm not kidding))

Things like a home, a wife/husband, a job/career, your education, building relationships that will last a lifetime, not just a YouTube sensation.

For all those participating in the current "rate and date" and "confessions" cool thing to do... This may be the right time to reevaluate what the words rate and date mean.

Rate: What you should be worried about getting the best of on your car insurance, credit cards, mortgage, etc.
Date: What you should do to get to know someone instead of tagging them in a youtube video, FB status, or Twitter message.
TBH: I actually worry about the people I see doing this; like.. I have probably lost sleep over it. And by probably I mean I have. 

Sincerely,
The Girl Who is Not Cooler Than the Flip Side of Your Pillow