"We Have Decided to Eliminate Your Position."

“Regrettably, we have decided that CCi will eliminate your position and you will cease regular duties effective February 04, 2014.”

               --One sentence that hit a conference room full of people like a bullet; their minds and hearts instantly racing.

An event transpired yesterday that left every employee at Everest University Online with a sadness and soaring uncertainty; an event that we were all blindsided by. Being laid off is no laissez-faire occasion, though. It’s about economics. It’s a numbers game- is the company hitting goal: OR NOT. Unfortunately, I lost my Everest family because the answer to that question was the “or not,” portion. We spend 40 hours, often times more, with our coworkers every week. So to put a title on the people I worked with daily, “coworkers,” does not suffice. I would venture to say, “family,” is the appropriate term here.

               Each of our stories is unique. Each of us have brought strengths, weaknesses, a sense of humor, an inspiring quote, a helping hand, a smile in the hallway, and even a daily cartoon for some comic relief! I started working at Everest in September 2012, wide-eyed and excited. As the years passed, my Everest family has guided me through a rollercoaster of life events. From relationships, family health, college, how to do taxes, how to show up on time, how to have a solid work ethic, how to accept change and thrive, and how to just live. My family there has been there with me through all my struggles, and through all my joys. I have gotten advice that is priceless; I have made friendships for life.

And instead of being bitter, angry, hurt, and confused, I plan on using all that and running with it. I am laid off, but I am unbelievably grateful to have had the opportunity to work with such amazing individuals. To build me up, to tell me I am worthy, to remind me of my strength. Being laid off is hard. Being laid off means questioning how to pay my rent, how to get groceries, how to keep my cell phone on, how to put gas in the car, and where my next turn will be. How to take care of those around me……

But it does not define me.

Mike Jenkins once poured his heart out to us in the same conference room we got laid off. His words stuck with me. He said he used to play a mean game of basketball, by himself outside his barn. As we circled the room with what contributes to success, I jokingly said, “It takes a mean game of recruiting students.” And as that was a mere 5 second exchange, a lot can be found in those words. Our leaders didn’t start at the top. They started with a dream… His dream was fueled by prayers. He spoke of praying by his bedside and then finding clarity. Knowing that, “All is done.” He, along with many others, have had to make sacrifices to fuel the company from an economic standpoint. We may look at them as the enemy because they still have a career, they still have money to take care of THEIR families, and now we don’t. But as you go through the stages of loss, remember that they are going through the same. Seeing the tears in people’s eyes, seeing the pale faces and shaking the clammy hands- it is a loss for us all. As humans we tend to dissociate our leaders with emotions. They got ahead by not having emotions, they have it ‘in them’ to lay us off- that’s not true. Think about their heavy hearts as they go home tonight. Having to give the news to a room full of confused, angry, sad, scared people….. That’s a moment they will never forget.

               The point of my little tirade is this, this moment was awful for all parties involved. The leaders that delivered the news, the ‘survivors’ that watched us walk out the door, the families that are now uncertain of what comes next, and each and every one of us that is now in the race for another job- a way to provide. The reality of the situation hits hard when you have to face family, friends, and loved ones and tell them the news. Don’t let this define your worth, though.

Life is about health and happiness.

Yesterday, and the days to pass, are a challenge. We will face days all too often with tears in our eyes and struggles before us. Negative emotions are all-consuming, and loss of hope is a killer. But please do not get bogged down in the negative emotions that an event like that will inspire. Remember, you are worthy, you are talented, and above all- You are strong.

I can not WAIT to see all that everyone accomplishes.

You have made a difference in my life- and I know wherever this road takes you- you will make a difference in the lives of many, many others!!

All the possibilities now right in your fingertips. Like a phoenix, we will rise from the ashes!

Praying for each and every one of us involved. I am sure each one of us has, or still is, going through the motions- experiencing denial, anger, fear, feeling helpless, depression, and then acceptance. So in writing this, understand I am too. I am writing this to all involved, and myself.

Remember this-

We worked to change lives.

 It’s time to kick ass and take names- and go change YOUR life.

Oh and P.S. If you have never heard the soundtrack from the children’s movie, “Frozen,” called, “Let it Go,” please go do so now. Listen to this verse below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

It's funny how some distance,
Makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me,
Can't get to me at all.
It's time to see what I can do,
To test the limits and break through!!!...
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm free!

LET IT GO! Let it go!
Here I stand, and here I'll stay.
Let the storm rage on.
AND I'LL RISE LIKE THE BREAK OF DAWN

Tempted by F E A R

There are a lot of hurting people in this world.

Talk about h e a r t b r e a k i n g.

I went and saw the movie, “The Desolation of Smaug,” as a fun time out of the house this weekend. I sat there with my Red Vines in hand, admiring the grandiosity of such a giant screen (yes, it still gets me every time although I’ve seen a thousand movies) I was so excited to see this movie….. Only when I got there, my stomach turned upside-down.

Images of young, innocent people flashed through my mind that have been on the news. Names raced through my mind of people who were victims of the multiple shootings at schools, theaters, and other public places. So many innocent lives taken….. all for what? I thought- what if it was me? What if it was my family that fell victim to these events?

What would I do?

Panic set in. The kind of clammy hands, frog in my throat, flight or fight mode.

I sat there and forced myself to change my thought process. I had to actively remind myself that I was safe. I wanted to leave more than anything. My Red Vines became dead weight in my hand, and the giant screen became daunting and unnerving. I wanted to run away and stay in my safe home, without the threats of some stranger. And I thought, how many people are thinking this same thing? How many people feel uneasy outside of their home because of all the events that have transpired lately?

It’s not fair. It’s a wicked world, at times. But I stayed. I watched the movie and enjoyed every minute of it, and I’m here to write about it. <-- That shouldn’t be something anyone has to say, as if I am some war hero that survived two tours and lives to tell the story.

But I’m not..

I just survived a movie..

And the sad thing is, recently, some people don’t.

 A movie, a school, a church, a home…. all places that should be safe. It breaks my heart what these tragedies are instilling in people.

But despite the fear that sets in, we have to trust in the Lord to provide safety and security. Being still and trusting in the Lord is not being “complacent.” I (way too often) confuse these two concepts. Being still and trusting in the Lord doesn’t mean you aren’t taking action and doing what you need to do. It’s trusting that God’s plan is right. Trusting that God is the ultimate judge, that God is here through every crossroad, every challenge we may face. So when we are tempted to stay in our homes, tempted to live in fear, remember, “¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

I WILL NOT let the 'shooters' get satisfaction. I won't live in a world dictated by fear. I won't be scared to go to a movie... I won't put someone on a pedestal and honor what they have done, when it was wrong. I will hold my God higher, and higher... instead of putting the "shooter" into a fame category and letting them dictate my thoughts.

You decide who gets the media attention, the shooter && the fear- or the POWER of our God to bring us THROUGH these events.

My God is standing front row center with every soldier on the front lines....

 

My God is also sitting front row center in every movie.

 

 

 

 

 

We're all fools in love..

I love LOVE. I love the unconditional love given to us by our God, I love romantic love, I love sisterly and brotherly love, I love the love of parents, I love the love of a hobby, the love of sweets, the love of writing, memories, pictures, and the list goes on for ages….

As I was talking to someone who has lived a full life, told by the laughter wrinkles on the sides of her emerald green eyes, I realized the heart break she had experienced, the number of times she has broken someone’s heart and had hers broken, and all the depths of the emotion told by the way her eyes brightened when she talks about her children, the way they diverted from mine when she was ashamed of her failed relationships, and the way even today- her emotions reflect my own, at just 22 years old.

We’re all the same in love. We’re all equal; we are all fools in love. It doesn’t matter if you have been through three divorces, or if someone is your first, we are all stripped of every learning experience, knowledge of past events, and thrown into a chemical and emotional madness of what we call, LOVE.

 

You see, it doesn’t matter if you “know the drill,” once you enter into any act of love; your heart is made new. You are just as vulnerable, if not more, than someone who has never known love. You are stripped of your pride and every relationship faux pas will probably come up. It is inevitable to make mistakes, to even make many of the same mistakes you have made before; we are all made fools in love. We overthink, cry, stay on cloud nine, give too much.. We let love consume us, and despite the fact that my heart is hurting, I say, let it.

Be vulnerable to love. Give too much. Overuse “I love you.” Take pictures of every moment.

L O V E  hard, love with all of you.

Yes, I know it will hurt THAT much more at the end, or when time proves itself and you lose a loved one.

But we aren’t sent here to experience unconditional love. We CAME from unconditional love, and are called BACK to unconditional love. We are here on Earth experiencing mad love, crazy love, messy love, broken love, whole love, personal love.. We will mess up, we will go through life and whether we are 15 wide-eyed and innocent, or 98 and wise, we are all made to be fools in love; fabulously foolish and brilliantly flawed.

So take time to love today; don’t hold back.

 

 

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.

What do YOU do, when CO floods?!

I'm in the midst of poor Colorado right now- we have had everything from fires to floods over this summer. So I've made the wise decision to stay warm and dry inside- &&this is what ends up happening!

Photoshoot, babeh.

Muah;
PhotoSoul Sarah.

Hardy har. har.

Here's a break from all the serious posts....Photographers- you know how true these are!!

With love,
PhotoSoul Sarah.

Hot. Off. The. Press!

Praise. The. Lord.

I AM SO EXCITED!!

This little baby just came to me, hot off the press! ;) Brand spankin' new National Geographic magazine for August 2013.

oh. yes.

I know, I know....it's JUST a magazine. But to me, it is sooo much more. First of all, it's the most amazing magazine to ever exist. Second, the pictures are worth MORE than a thousand words. Third, I got it myself. With the job I have, the money in my own account, and the apartment under my name. Let freedom riiiiiing, people. The American Dream is different for everyone, and I may still want a house and two.point.five. children, but for now....a teensy tiny, perfect apartment with the perfect company is good enough for me :)

I've learned that it's okay to celebrate the tiniest accomplishments....and if getting a subscription to NatGeo in my name is important to me, then it's all the more reason to celebrate! You should try it some time. After all, it's all about the ride, right?

Now excuse me while I go lose myself in the pure joy of my new NatGeo.....

With Love,
PhotoSoulSarah.

Jealousy.

It gets the best of us, doesn't it?

We live in this never-ending world filled with constant temptations; material, or not. I've been struggling with this lately- hard. That's the perfectionist in me- I want everything to be amazing. I want to take the best pictures, write the best stories, have the best career, raise the best family, look up to the best husband...I want my cooking to be delicious, my crafts to be precious, ok; the list goes on...

I know that as a woman of God though- my strength is constantly being tested. I often succumb to feelings of fear, worry, doubt, anger and jealousy. I get worried..."God, is THIS what you had planned for my life?" and then it starts a downward spiral of questioning.

I scroll through the most perfect blogs, look at people's perfect outfits, their fairytale marriages and relationships...Then I look at my messy hair, my make-up that got put on in my car on my way to work, and my relationships are...getting there.

I always, ALWAYS forget to just BE ME.

I know, we got this pounded into our heads as kids if we were lucky (which I was...encouraged to follow my dreams) But I get so consumed. With other people's perfect celebrations, their perfect hair, their perfect relationships, their perfect blog, their booming business, and then jealousy creeps up.......Awful.

Because I let other people define my self-worth.
 
I let people make me feel worthless. I let people make me feel like I don't deserve the truth. I let people make me feel like I am not worthy of loyalty. I let people make me feel depressed. I let people make me feel angry. I let people tell me who I am; and the WORST part of it....is that I usually believe it.

The key here....I LET PEOPLE.
ALL accountability lies within myself here.

Other people can only do to you what you ALLOW them to do. NOBODY chooses your actions, only yourself.

So to the eyes reading this right now- Do NOT let other people define WHO YOU ARE or HOW YOU ACT.

Ever.

Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. In Christ. &&that should be enough for true happiness.

It doesn't matter if your blog is not the cutest, most revolutionary thing on Earth. It doesn't matter if you're not married yet. It doesn't matter if you are in a struggling relationship. It doesn't matter if you burn dinner every once in a while. It doesn't matter if you don't wake up every morning to your dream job....etc!

What DOES matter- is that you are being YOU. Because God designed each and every one of us to have a significant and unique purpose; and that purpose can only be fulfilled by....well, YOU!

I've reached a point where I just have to LET GO. Stop trying to be perfect and envious; and remember to view myself how God sees me. How he MADE me. If other people choose to make me feel differently, then they don't deserve a part in my life. They deserve love...but not to bring me down repetitively.

And if you stop looking at everyone else's "perfect" (it never actually is) life, then you will slowly begin to see yourself in the image of God. How He intended you to be. Not jealous of anything else. Not feeling unworthy. Not feeling depressed.....But feeling empowered by the fact that you are PERFECT in His eyes. &&He has a plan for you bigger than you could ever imagine.

Life is pretty darn great....and in the times when you get envious of what others may have, remember to count your blessings
&&JUST. BE. YOURSELF.

All else will come.
Be still.

With Love,

PhotoSoul Sarah.