MUST LOVE DOGS

I was sitting in my car today eating a bag of dry Cheerios in a parking lot (glamorous life, I know) I saw this old man pull up in front of me with his dog sitting right there in the passenger seat, or rather, his butt was in the passenger seat and everything else had managed to get as close to his owner as possible. Okay, he was practically hugging him, let's be serious. The old man was clearly talking to him because there was no one else in the car, and when he got out, the dog bowed his head and continued to look out the window the entire time the owner was gone. He literally did not move; he looked out the window and patiently awaited his owner's arrival. 

I thought that the dog would eventually get antsy and lay down or move around the car, or look out a different window. He never did. He stayed in one spot consistently until he got back. 

When he finally came back, the dog could not contain his excitement. Neither could the old man. He was petting him and talking to him and the dog was wagging his tail as if it was the last time he would ever wag his tail! 

The whole encounter just made me smile. The loyalty the dog had to his owner, the happiness the two of them clearly shared, and the excitement of the meeting after only a couple moments was all so endearing. 

It reminded me of my relationship with God. Not only that I talk to him out loud when nobody's around, and wag my tail like nobody's business when I listen to a good worship song, but that sometimes I leave Him. 

Sometimes I stray from Him in life, but he is always right there looking out the window with steadfast patience waiting for me to come back. He is loyal. 

When I get too consumed with my friends or family, with work, with material possessions... When I get consumed by feelings of anxiety and emotion. I forget the loyalty He has to me. I forget where I come from. 

I wander from Him. Sometimes for a long time, and other times for only a moment, but my God is always right there beside me during every step of the way, and patiently waiting for me to come back. 

And one day, I know the excitement we will both share when I finally go home and we meet again. It will be as if I had never left. 

So despite the fact that if I ever had to get a dating profile it really would say, "MUST LOVE DOGS," I think this can teach us all a lesson, even if you're more of a cat person.

Our God is loyal and steadfast. When we stray from Him he is always patiently waiting our arrival. He is always excited when we pray and is the best listener. He doesn't seek out other interests or forget about you because you left, or because you sinned. He is forever loyal.

So the next time you feel insecure, the next time you feel depressed, and the next time you feel like it's too late to go back.. Remember that your God is patiently and loyally awaiting your arrival. Just come as you are back to Him, the excitement you will share will be unsurpassable. 

••Time Will Pass Anyway••

"Never give up on a dream because of the time it takes to achieve it. The time will pass anyway." 

I can't express enough how true this is; and how I wish I could engrave this on people's hearts. 

If you're over 40 and you want to go to college- Go. If you are 22 and want to start college but all your friends already have their degrees- Go. Start now. In twenty years, I promise you will wish you did. It's not too late. What is 'too late' anyways? Standards set for us by how society should function? Well, we don't all have the luxury to spend the next four years out of High School just learning. Maybe you had kids of your own who you dedicated all your time to. Maybe you had to work two jobs to make it on your own. Maybe you got married and followed him to a different state. Maybe you just didn't want to at that time. 

But now you do. And NOW is never too late. Think of your life after you graduate, the time will pass anyways. 

Is a big event coming up and you need to get in shape? Start now. The time will pass anyways. You're either going to feel confident and healthy and alive, or you're going to be crawling out of your skin uncomfortably the whole time. 

NOW is never too late. 

Did you stay with someone too long when it was time to walk away? Now you're thinking it's too late to dream of becoming a wife, a husband, a mom or dad. It's not too late. Time will pass anyway. Dream now. 

Whatever it is that time is holding you back from, start now. 

If it takes ten years, two months, fifty years..... Start NOW; because now is never too late. 

I don't care how gray you are. I don't care how inexperienced you are. I don't care what kind of looks other people are going to give you. I don't care if you never have enough time to finish. Start now.

It's not too late; time will pass anyways. 

Adding Up to Beautiful

I remember this one particular time getting made fun of in High School; it's a memory that I replay in my mind when my mind wanders and thinks about all my imperfections. Why it stuck out among all the others is beyond me. The sad thing is, I really don't remember what was even said exactly. (But I do remember how it made me feel.) It was something to the extent of, "You should really get braces!" Or something of the sort, I don't know. I remember just looking at him, pausing in silence trying to find the right words to say, and just saying, "I know." 

But I remember laying in bed and crying and just thinking, "I should have said something clever back!" I turned it over in my head for weeks. Wishing I could go back to that exact moment and have some witty insult to say back. Wishing I could say, "Yeah, well you can fix teeth! You can't fix being mean!" And I had decided that this would have been the best comment. My mantra in my own mind became, "You can't fix mean but you can get braces." 

I let him make me feel insecure about my appearance. I let him get inside my head. 

Hearing someone comment on something I criticize myself for had made me bitter. It made me want to throw insults back. It made me want to make HIM feel what I had felt. It made me want to cry and remind myself of the laundry-list of flaws I have. 

But then he approached me at school one day and took back his comment. Actually... he WROTE me an apology letter on his own accord. (And you say humanity doesn't exist?!) It really helped me see that sometimes we get picked on not to put our own insecurities in the spotlight, but because people don't think before they speak and we're all just a bunch of walking, talking, insecure people. (To one extent or another) Maybe someone was picking on him that day. Maybe he had a bad home life. Maybe he felt insecure about his own teeth. Who will ever know?! (I don't think there's ever a justification for bullying, but I do think there are REASONS behind those type of comments) 

I learned that it's not about some witty insult. It's not about making someone else feel what they made you feel. It's not about getting hurt feelings or hurting someone else's feelings...... 

It's about that handwritten apology letter. It's about humanity. 

Every interaction we have could affect someone deeply. 

Yes; I'm anti-bully. I dream of a school that not one bully roams the hallways. But we've all been there, at some point, feeling down on ourselves from something someone else has said or done to us, so today- 

Make your words count. And if not, make sure that apology letter is signed and sealed by the next day! ;) 

Remember all of your imperfections add up to something beautiful. 

Something to Offer.

As a writer, what is your greatest tool? 

My iPhone has become my greatest tool. (stand down Droid users, I love the notes equally as much on them too!) 

I will have over 3-4 thousand notes at a time, and then all at once, 74.

Writing hits me often times in this all consuming way, like I can't get out what I want to write as quickly as it is coming; a torrential downpour in the desert. I will go days, weeks, maybe months or years without any real sort of inspiration; nothing will strike me. And then all the sudden, my fingers can't type fast enough and I have thirty different ideas and all sorts of words and openers and 'closers' (if you could use that as a word for what I'm trying to say) 

Writing is my way of experiencing the world around me; or rather, that I couldn't truly live without writing. I wouldn't know who I was, and I don't know how not to write. 

Sometimes it's just a word. I HAVE to use this word. It's the word in itself. Other times it is this melodic flow of an entire sentence, an entire passage or "chapter" (if it were to be finished, I could call it a chapter.) It's this sort of spider web of ideas . I used to write web diagrams in school. The entire page would be filed with big writing and small writing and bubbles off bubbles off bubbles, and now that I'm older, I do the same thing but with notes on my iPhone. My brain looks like this massive web diagram where at first glance it looks disorganized and messy, a bunch of words all thrown together and you don't know where to even begin let alone where to end. And then you see my room, on a night that I know I'm not having company or my mom, I always hope to impress her or atleast make her not feel uneasy about her surroundings. But that's how I work and how the world makes sense to me. In this big pile of "altogether" and then slowly I pull out this magnificent work of art. That's how my brain looks. That's how my room looks or my files saved on my computer; and I can imagine if one had the opportunity to live exclusively alone, this is probably how I would keep it. However, I'm cultured. I'm clean. I like myself and my surroundings to look nice for other people, although if we are being quite honest, my eyes don't see when there are dishes in the sink and there is a towel on the floor. And maybe at some point all of this will change and I will think, "Ugh. You used to have such disgusting habits!" Why did you write WEB diagrams that were just all over the place with no quite direction or purpose or rhyme or reason? Or maybe this is just me. And maybe something good will come of being just me; 

maybe a thousand notes on my iPhone, a messy, unorganized web diagram, and a touch of inspiration will change someone's heart one day. 

You have something to offer by being you; something you should. 

Eat. Five. Cupcakes.

It's the most wonderful time of year, or, as everyone I hear talk about, it's that time of year where everyone is concerned about how much weight they've gained or are anticipating gaining. 

And you know what I think? Eat. Five. Cupcakes. 

Enjoy every cupcake your grandma bakes, because one day you will miss that home-made taste so bad when she's not around. You will be wishing that you would have just ate one. more. cupcake. You will wish that you could have that sweet, warm taste of home all over again. 

You will be wishing you could eat that honey-baked spiral ham and juicy turkey when you're reheating ramen on your busy work schedule. 

You will be wishing you swam in a river of gravy on your mashed potatoes when you're on a Popsicle diet because of an unexpected surgery. 

You will be wishing you got seconds when you only have enough money to barely slide by with one meal. 

Enjoy the hundreds and hundreds of calories on your plate. And then again on your second plate. And while we're at it, your third plate. 

My point is this, eat your holiday dinner with friends and family and enjoy it. You never know what tomorrow will bring, and if eating a 3,000 calorie meal a few times a year is your worst offense, I think you will still make Santa's nice list! 

This is a meal to celebrate and enjoy. To share with loved ones and friends and strangers alike. To share happiness and send warm wishes for the New Year. It's a time of bounty and to give THANKS. 

So I say buy a pair of leggings, and EAT. 

Now excuse me while I go ponder all the wonderful foods I am about to stuff my face with this Holiday Season!! And I hope you will join me! 

This One's for the Girls

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, "Ugh. If I had a little less fat on my belly." Or "Ugh. If my teeth were just a little more straight and my boobs just a little bit bigger." I mean REAL insecurities. Things that I got made fun of in school for. Things that you want to hide on a first date or somehow distract them from. (Like when you wear a fancy headband because you didn't feel like brushing your hair so you put it in a messy bun and throw in a headband. don't lie, you've done it) 

When I am checking out at Wal-Mart and see ten magazines of perfectly sculpted bodies and think to myself, "Wow. I wish I looked like that. I need to hit the gym ASAP." 

It starts a spiral of negative self-talk. Which seems to be an incessant devil in your own mind if you even let one comment loose! I know, because I've been there. Negativity is all-consuming. It sucks the life out of you and throws you against a wall with every thought. 

But then I realized when I looked in the mirror, "Wow. You managed to work 9 hours and complete three exams for college and you STILL have eyeliner on! You go girl!" It was smudged. My eyes were droopy and tired. My foundation completely worn off, but hey, my eyeliner was still hanging on for me! It's the little things! It really is. 

Instead of berating myself when I look at a magazine in the check-out lane, I just stopped comparing myself to them. I started being genuinely happy for their success. Congratulating someone on their sculpted body, airbrushed skin and flawless hair feels a whole hell of a lot better than a negative slew of comments overwhelming my brain... In fact, it feels peaceful. Which is something that is hard to come across in the world we live in.

I realized that we each have the power to lift up other females. We have the power to stop gossiping, stop complaining, stop looking in the mirror and analyzing ourselves, and just start being FREE of all that negativity. And let me tell you, it is a joyous feeling. 

But don't be fooled. It doesn't come after a set amount of days. It doesn't come after you look in the mirror and see something GOOD. It doesn't come after ignoring the magazines and billboards. Actually, it is never really just THERE. This is something you work at with EVERY interaction. Every thought. Every comment. Until it gets easier and easier. Don't be afraid or discouraged when you keep feeling down on yourself, because everyone does! It's okay. What's not okay is to pack your positivity bags and give in to a negative self-image. 

I want you to remember you are beautiful. I want you to remember you are lucky to have the body and heart you were given, no one else can be you! Remember that. Remember at the end of a hard day, where you just want to cry and give in to negative self-talk, that you can make a difference in the world. It starts with your own mind. Your own self-talk. 

And then one day, when you're in line at a grocery store and your daughter looks at a magazine on the shelf, you can remind her how beautiful she is. How lucky she is to have her body and her heart and mind. You can show her every day by the confidence in your step, the conviction in your words, and the way you smile when you look in the mirror. 

You're beautiful.. Now go out and tell every girl you know; remind them how beautiful they are inside and out. 

••Feeling 23••

I just recently turned 23 years old. November 9, to be exact ;) It's kind of this weird stage where you are supposed to know where you're at in life, but you're still kind of crawling out of your own skin. You still feel a little awkward being called, "Ma'am" or "Miss," because, well, you probably still sit at the kids table on holidays. (It's more fun there, never move!) I think to a certain extent, though, we all deal with these periods in life. Periods of insecurity or anxiety of our futures; moments of doubt for what we have and will become. 

Learning to accept yourself in all that you have and will become is quite possibly the most challenging thing you will ever do; but loving yourself is quite possibly the most important thing you can ever do. 

I'm insecure at times. I have no qualms about admitting that.... Because you know what? Most people are occasionally. We don't just navigate through life flawlessly, and that's part of the joy in living! 

So I'm 23 now. I'm on to a whole new year of adventure and promise, of hope and sorrow, of creative ideas and too much Nutella when I'm sad. (maybe 23 won't be a Nutella year, I'm thinking...fresh fruit?) I'm on to a whole new year of setting goals, expressing myself, looking up to people and being an example for the young ones in my life to look up to as well. A new year filled with laughter and maybe some tears, filled with an insatiable craving to write and live. But most of all, I have 23 years of experience and a whole new year to learn. 

To learn the power of words. 

The power of self love. 

The power of forgiveness.

The power of giving.

The power of prayer.

The power of compassion.

The power of hard work.

The power of laughter.

The power of touch. 

The power of life.

I have the opportunity to make it a powerful year, and that's just what I intend to do. 

To learn and relearn. 

To transform my mind into a powerhouse of positivity. To create a sanctuary that will overflow into love for others. 

And maybe today it starts with telling myself I'm beautiful in the mirror, and I deserve the best. And maybe by the time I've had 50 birthdays, I'll be able to share this love with others, to create a legacy of women and children and men and boys who love themselves; who love what they have done in the world and who they are. I think that's so incredibly important; to be you, in a world where it's hard to remember who you are. To live with confidence that YOU is ENOUGH. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, funny enough...just enough. Enough for yourself and enough for anybody else. 

Cheers to 23; cheers to learning all I can if even only in my own mind. Want to change the world? Start with your own mind ;) 

Xo. 

Sarah. 

And since I am 23, why would I end this blog post without a hashtag?! 

#feeling23 #livelovelearn #powerofpositivity #selflove #youreagemforstillreadingthis