Adding Up to Beautiful

I remember this one particular time getting made fun of in High School; it's a memory that I replay in my mind when my mind wanders and thinks about all my imperfections. Why it stuck out among all the others is beyond me. The sad thing is, I really don't remember what was even said exactly. (But I do remember how it made me feel.) It was something to the extent of, "You should really get braces!" Or something of the sort, I don't know. I remember just looking at him, pausing in silence trying to find the right words to say, and just saying, "I know." 

But I remember laying in bed and crying and just thinking, "I should have said something clever back!" I turned it over in my head for weeks. Wishing I could go back to that exact moment and have some witty insult to say back. Wishing I could say, "Yeah, well you can fix teeth! You can't fix being mean!" And I had decided that this would have been the best comment. My mantra in my own mind became, "You can't fix mean but you can get braces." 

I let him make me feel insecure about my appearance. I let him get inside my head. 

Hearing someone comment on something I criticize myself for had made me bitter. It made me want to throw insults back. It made me want to make HIM feel what I had felt. It made me want to cry and remind myself of the laundry-list of flaws I have. 

But then he approached me at school one day and took back his comment. Actually... he WROTE me an apology letter on his own accord. (And you say humanity doesn't exist?!) It really helped me see that sometimes we get picked on not to put our own insecurities in the spotlight, but because people don't think before they speak and we're all just a bunch of walking, talking, insecure people. (To one extent or another) Maybe someone was picking on him that day. Maybe he had a bad home life. Maybe he felt insecure about his own teeth. Who will ever know?! (I don't think there's ever a justification for bullying, but I do think there are REASONS behind those type of comments) 

I learned that it's not about some witty insult. It's not about making someone else feel what they made you feel. It's not about getting hurt feelings or hurting someone else's feelings...... 

It's about that handwritten apology letter. It's about humanity. 

Every interaction we have could affect someone deeply. 

Yes; I'm anti-bully. I dream of a school that not one bully roams the hallways. But we've all been there, at some point, feeling down on ourselves from something someone else has said or done to us, so today- 

Make your words count. And if not, make sure that apology letter is signed and sealed by the next day! ;) 

Remember all of your imperfections add up to something beautiful.