Something to Offer.

As a writer, what is your greatest tool? 

My iPhone has become my greatest tool. (stand down Droid users, I love the notes equally as much on them too!) 

I will have over 3-4 thousand notes at a time, and then all at once, 74.

Writing hits me often times in this all consuming way, like I can't get out what I want to write as quickly as it is coming; a torrential downpour in the desert. I will go days, weeks, maybe months or years without any real sort of inspiration; nothing will strike me. And then all the sudden, my fingers can't type fast enough and I have thirty different ideas and all sorts of words and openers and 'closers' (if you could use that as a word for what I'm trying to say) 

Writing is my way of experiencing the world around me; or rather, that I couldn't truly live without writing. I wouldn't know who I was, and I don't know how not to write. 

Sometimes it's just a word. I HAVE to use this word. It's the word in itself. Other times it is this melodic flow of an entire sentence, an entire passage or "chapter" (if it were to be finished, I could call it a chapter.) It's this sort of spider web of ideas . I used to write web diagrams in school. The entire page would be filed with big writing and small writing and bubbles off bubbles off bubbles, and now that I'm older, I do the same thing but with notes on my iPhone. My brain looks like this massive web diagram where at first glance it looks disorganized and messy, a bunch of words all thrown together and you don't know where to even begin let alone where to end. And then you see my room, on a night that I know I'm not having company or my mom, I always hope to impress her or atleast make her not feel uneasy about her surroundings. But that's how I work and how the world makes sense to me. In this big pile of "altogether" and then slowly I pull out this magnificent work of art. That's how my brain looks. That's how my room looks or my files saved on my computer; and I can imagine if one had the opportunity to live exclusively alone, this is probably how I would keep it. However, I'm cultured. I'm clean. I like myself and my surroundings to look nice for other people, although if we are being quite honest, my eyes don't see when there are dishes in the sink and there is a towel on the floor. And maybe at some point all of this will change and I will think, "Ugh. You used to have such disgusting habits!" Why did you write WEB diagrams that were just all over the place with no quite direction or purpose or rhyme or reason? Or maybe this is just me. And maybe something good will come of being just me; 

maybe a thousand notes on my iPhone, a messy, unorganized web diagram, and a touch of inspiration will change someone's heart one day. 

You have something to offer by being you; something you should.