I. Don't. Want. This.

I am what I write. 

Not what I eat, although burritos do have the sexiest of curves. 

This world of blogging on my tiny space of the WWW allows me to toss my ideas to the wind; grandiose, petty, strong-headed, sexy, childish, dreamy, painful, private truths.

It's a double-edged sword really, because usually my brain is stuck on a dark, one-way street on the wrong side of south Chicago, and then I'm permanently posting things to the Internet, where everything is both true and temporary.... Err, maybe the opposite of that? 

My thoughts at 2:17am go something like this, Internet... 

Have you ever had something promising in your life, and then it collapsed on itself in under five seconds? A screeching halt into a wall at 65 mph. 

That's happened to me a time or two; it's a little bit like hell on wheels... Not the television series on Netflix, but while we're on the topic, DAYUM, I dig me some Cullen Bohannon. ((Go to Netflix now and watch Hell on Wheels if you haven't, take a little road trip to heaven, realize you haven't finished reading my blog, say hi to your grandparents, and then come back)) 

That whole enticing, tenuous, teetering on promising thing just ends. 

And not for any particular reason. Not a reason you can formulate in any coherent sentence or thought; it just does. 

You chalk it up to, "It wasn't meant to be." 

This, unsurprisingly, happens quite often. 

It wasn't meant to be that I could get one green light when I wake up late for work. It wasn't meant to be that I step on the 90% of the bathroom floor that's dry and not the part that will make my fresh socks soaked. It wasn't meant to be that I get the promotion. It wasn't meant to be that the guy that makes me feel the whole zoo, forget just butterflies, wants me back. It wasn't meant to be that my fly could have been zipped while talking to my boss's boss.....

Some things just aren't. meant. to. be. 

And while the sarcasm runs thick right now, there's one phrase I've strayed from using in my life, for the most part. 

"I don't want this."

Powerful, really. 

Have you ever stopped and thought about the meaning that one sentence holds? The transitions it can create, the opportunities it can unravel for you. 

I don't want this. 

Some people don't get the luxury of choosing what they do or don't want. 

We do, here. Right now.

You have the power to say, "I don't want this." 

That job that makes you feel like you have no purpose. That almost-relationship. That sweater your grandma gave you that's hanging in your closet..... Just kidding. Keep that. They have ugly sweater Christmas 5K's now! 

The point of my little tirade is this, sometimes something promising ends abruptly, out of your control. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be, flat out. But most things, sweet pea, you're in complete control over. 

So to the things you can say, "I don't want this," I deserve more. Please start saying it today.

I need you to come alive.

I need you to take that interest, and pursue it. That's where talent comes from. If you're willing to practice, you can do it. 

The world needs you to show up, and use that talent.

You have limitless possibility.