Open The Can of Worms

I can't sleep. I really can't.

4AM and I are two peas in a pod. 

Audiobooks are a treasure to me. I lay my phone next to my pillow and listen to beautiful, enlightening words. Funny words. Harsh words. Scary words. I let them lull me to sleep, if I'm that lucky. 

I don't have everything together right now. I'm not broken, either. I'm recovering. As they say, I'm finding the beautiful in the ugly and stitching it into my life. 

I'm fighting. I'm learning. I'm striving for my future. I'm learning to accept and welcome the present. 

I have scars just like you. I have things that make me bawl, and things that make me cackle like a chicken with happiness. 

I share my life not to be a martyr, not to get attention, but to remind you, sweet-pea, that you are not alone in what you face. 

People all over the world are just like you. Maybe they can't sleep. They're lonely. They're confused. They're excited for the future but timid. They have unbearable secrets. They love someone they shouldn't. Whatever it is, you could tell them everything and they would understand. 

We tend to gravitate towards this idea of being robots; somehow that makes us appear strong. I call bullshit (as I so often do when it comes to expressing feelings, you guys should have known that was where I was headed)

There's a method to my madness though. Don't keep your thoughts locked away for so long that they come thrashing out one day unexpectedly. They're worth sharing. My bet is someone, somewhere feels the exact same way and could learn a whole hell of a lot from you. I'm not asking you to open a whole can of worms. I'm asking you gently open the lid, take one worm out gently with tweezers, and then shut the can again until another day. Harmless. 

I've learned that our most challenging times are like sandpaper; scratching and hurting us until we end up polished and new. So take your time to be worn down, and learn while you're at it. 

Learn that it's okay to not be all the way okay, but you can't quit. Learn that you're not alone; you never were and won't ever be. Just please, never stop learning.. No matter what life throws your way- Learn. 

Write a list of things that are going to get better. Start with you.