Hello... It's Me.

I am a slow healer.

If someone gets through a break up in six months, it's going to take me two years. 

If someone mourns the loss of a loved one passing away for years, I'll be weeping sporadically my whole life.

I go through the healing process slowly, but surely... For lack of a better phrase. Some just call me stubborn and emotional, but, there's method to my madness sweet pea. 

I believe so strongly in experiencing every emotion to its fullest, so when I'm heartbroken, or mourning, or whatever it may be, I'm going to experience it. 

I'm not going to shove it aside like yesterday's pizza (bad analogy, day-old pizza is honestly the bees knees; but you get my point.) Emotions are powerful, and if truly FELT, can invoke a sense of self that you may not have felt before.

I like to be happy with the rest of you, trust me. A day at the pool with the sunshine beating down on me, a turkey burger in hand, and an ice-cold drink in the other is more than welcome on my calendar any day. But, I know that I can't push aside the bad days, the bad feelings, and the bad memories.

They're a part of me; they've created this human that I'm becoming proud to know. 

So, hello. It's me. This is me on the other side, Adele. 

 

I really did call (text) my ex a thousand times. I really was sorry for breaking him down. As I'm sure he was I. But, here I am, today, January 24th, 2016 at 8:16 pm being proud of the woman I am becoming {smacks gavel on podium, uproarious applause commences. Sorry, I got carried away! Saying the whole date just made this whole thing sound so monumental!! Can ya blame a girl?!} 

I know 2016 didn't roll around and VOILA! new year, new me. I know that because I've worked damn hard. I don't wake up not missing people. I don't wake up with a fiery desire to go to work every day. I don't naturally have all I need to face the day. But I am working for it all, slowly and surely. 

I've been working on my mental health, physical well-being, emotional strength, my education, my travel dreams, how far I can make it on one tank of gas, how many large pizzas I can order before I need an intervention, you know, the usual. 

So although I heal slow, I heal well. I heal strong. I heal. 

That's the sad part about our society. We tend to get broken, and then we carelessly place a bandaid over it, pretend we are happy, and then that festering wound never truly heals.... It just affects every part of our life from then on out. 

I urge you to heal slow. Heal in your own time. If you need to cry it out a hundred and one thousand times, do just that. But then I need that wound to heal. Because you have so much in you that deserves to not miss the past. You have so much in you that deserves a future, that deserves happiness. 

Grow strong and steady. 

Take your time. 

Heal slow.