Brownie-Batter-In-My-Eyelashes-Havoc

I'm guilty of a few things in life. One, hating every second of little kids stirring things. It's not endearing, it's brownie-batter-in-my-eyelashes-havoc. Two, finding midi rings to be my new favorite accessory. And finally, being an aching soul looking for fulfillment. (Last one's a bit of a doozy) 

I'm quietly, and not so calmly, watching my life evolve and transform into the bigger picture I hope for it one day to be. I'm being still, yet thrashing wildly against my overthink-everything natural inclinations. I mean, today I literally put finger tattoos from the cereal box on each finger; and enjoyed it......a lot. I narrated for them......a lot. I think I am failing at adulting, guys. 

I'm likely to grow hopelessly frustrated in the interim of my life unfolding in the direction I want it to go. 

I'm a big reflect-rrr. Meaning I reflect on things constantly. It makes for this weird struggle between analyzing the past and still pushing forward into the future. Balance is key; like most things in life, but especially this. 

I think many of us have a tendency to try to fill voids in the wrong ways. Romanticizing the past; holding on to memories we should leave as memories; and wanting to incessantly go back instead of forward.

I tend to make huge progress and forward motion, and then my demons come out to play.

So I say find a person you can spend time with who you can work through your demons with. Who you can be comfortable enough to not repress memories, but bring them into light and work through them, with that person providing peace and comfort. 

Okay, it doesn't have to be a human, dear cat lady. It can even be a giraffe- I don't know! Take a trip to the zoo, stroll through the monkey exhibit. Talk to a painted rock, I really don't care. 

Life is chaotic. Yet it's a series of slow, quiet, often unnoticed actions. 

Find where you can work through your night terror memories. Find a way to bring lessons from your past into your present moments, and continuously strive for your future ahead. 

I'm only asking you to play hacky sack while balancing a ten gallon jug of water on your head and reading Shakespearean sonnets all the while. I know, life is one big balancing act. 

You'll make it through, though. 

Slowly, quietly. 

In the most hectic ways, you will be still.

You will carefully calculate your actions and they will slowly unravel the grandiosity of your existence. 

That void you're reaching so desperately to fill will mend. 

And maybe you too, will despise the toddler chunking brownie batter on your face.