dear future husband,

I don't want to be your maybe relationship. 

I don't want to be your psychotic ex. 

I don't want to be the one that got away. 

I don't want to be your 11pm call. 

I don't want to be second.

I don't want to be the what if.

I don't want to be the if only.

I want to be someone's happy ending.

dear future husband, 

((queue Meghan Trainor)) 

Here's a few things that you ought to know..

I'm not going to love you half-assed. Interpret that as you will..  

I'm going to worry about you. Your health. Your well-being. Your happiness. Your attraction to me and if someone else has your heart// eyes. All of it. I worry because I sincerely care. Promise, promise not to go overboard.

I'm anxious and insecure at times. Just do one little thing every day to show you care. Kiss me before you leave for work. Hold my hand. Plan a date. Take a picture of me when I don't know and show me later and tell me how beautiful I was in that moment.. Ya know, the cheesy, corny romantic schtuff. I dig it. 

I also just need you to be a man though. Strong, protective, not always ready for feeling-talks, capable of fixing anything..I don't need to list out what you do best. Just know I love that part too, if not more, than your cheesy, romantic side. 

I want the world for you. I will strive for you to have it. 

Let me leave my towel on the floor and use a different one every day. Please.

Usually when I say, "Is this a good idea?" It is because it is not a grand idea at all. Prohibit me from doing whatever comes after this sentence. That, or I'm being a giant chicken and need pushed out of my comfort nest. You will know the difference, no pressure. 

I will crack up at New Girl when nobody is home, stop judging me. 

I just really want to please you. In everything. But I will most likely lose myself in that venture; again, the wholehearted thing. It's a double edged sword. Help me not lose me. 

Yes I eat midnight snacks, and no they're not figure friendly. I shall repent in hot yoga later, I don't need your night eyes looking at me like I'm a fatass. We can share the brownies and pizza, okay?! 

I'm going to carry my past with me; it's not baggage, it's my story. It's me. It's how I became the woman you got on one knee for ((or whatever creative thing you do)) Please understand with me comes my story and all involved.

I'm a female. I cry when I'm happy. Or you know... Any of the emotions. It's confusing for me too, just hold me and play with my hair or be like, "LOOK! A baby bunny!" or, "LOOK! Cheese pizza!" And I'll be totally fine within point five seconds. 

I get hangry. Hanger is so real. And so dangerous. Just feed me, okay? Like a little bit every two hours. 

I won't understand any pop culture reference. 

I don't know directions. Period. It's not one of those, "It's really cute, just show me and then I'll remember and we can laugh our way through it.." kinda things. It's just all bad. I canNOT for the LIFE OF ME (literally about to die in traffic) form a mental map. Drive or give me directions that would allow a blind man to get there. 

Maybe I used to know you, know you now, or have never met you.. But dear future husband, thank you for deciding to share your adventure of life with me. I'm endlessly grateful for you, and the romantic daydreams and blogs I can write to you, thou that does not yet exist husband.

Maybe I won't ever find you! Who knows. 

Maybe I wasn't meant to... 

But for now, here's my tiny list of things to expect. Nothing on here I wouldn't do tenfold for you. 

I will make mistakes, I'm flawed, and so will you. We will together. But let's always forgive. And most of all, let's try not to be the judge of sins, let's just choose forgiveness. It's too great a weight to bare. 

Just be my husband and share life with me. 

Damn, husband has a niiiiice ring to it. 

....get it? A ring? 

BAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

PS future husband. humor me and laugh at my jokes soooometimes. they're mainly intended to entertain myself, but a little smirk here and there would be fab. 

PSS if you think this is the list of how to love me and what to expect, why this is just the tip of the iceberg, and you just signed up for the whole Titanic when we said, "I do."